Compare/Contrast

Over the last 15 years, I have been blessed with both giving birth to my children and adopting my children. Both of them are blessed events, both full of wonder, worry, pain, and joy. Even though both of them end with the same gift - that of a child - they are so different...

Giving birth, you worry about finances after your little one is home.
When adopting, "after my little one is home? Geesh, haven't even thought of that...what about paying all of the fees just get our little one home?"

Giving birth, you feel the first kick and movement, you gaze at the ultrasound and dream of this little being growing inside of you.
When adopting, you gaze at a photo, which is most likely at least 6 months old, and wonder if your little one is healthy, getting enough food, being held, safe, warm, pain free, being loved.

Giving birth, you get a due date and dream of that day.
When adopting, you have so many deadlines, most of which come and go without producing anything.

Giving birth, you decide if you will have a baby (in most cases)
When adopting, you have to wait for a foreign country to tell you you can have this child, then you have to have it ok'd by our country's government.

Giving birth, as you get further along, you get comments all of the time - "When are you due?" "How exciting." Etc, Etc.
When adopting, only close friends and family know you are "expecting" and most people don't "get it."

Giving birth, no one ever asks you "why in the world would you do that?"
When adopting...well it has been asked.

Giving birth, if your child is born with a birth defect of some kind, people would not criticize you for keeping this child.
When adopting a child with a special need, people criticize you for "bringing these children into our country for us to care for."

Giving birth, you are exhausted from hours of labor.
When adopting, you are exhausted from months and months of paperchasing, waiting and waiting, promises that aren't kept, worrying about fees, traveling half way around the world to a foreign country, and two weeks with food that you would sometimes rather not have. Not to mention the time differences (13 hours)

Giving birth, you lose a lot of sleep in the first couple of months, as your child does not sleep at night.
When adopting, you lose a lot of sleep as your child does not sleep because they are on a different time schedule than you, and most likely they have night terrors.

Giving birth, people come to visit after you are home from the hospital.
When adopting, no body comes to visit.

Giving birth, people understand if you love this child before you actually give birth.
When adopting, "How can you be in love with a picture?" is stated more often than not.

Giving birth requires no ok from a social worker (although I think it should in some cases.)
When adopting, you can't unless you have a 10-12 page report, written about your family, your parenting style, your criminal history, your work history, all of the children in your home, have been fingerprinted at least twice, produce a statement that shows you are financially able to support this child, have health insurance, life insurance, 3 references from people who know how you parent, and at least $20,000 to pay the fees.

Giving birth, is a wonderful, blessed, God sent event. After 9 months of waiting, you hold this perfect little being in your arms. You know their complete history from the time of conception to this exact moment. You know all of their medical history, their bloodline, everything.
When adopting, you know very little, if anything. Did they eat breakfast this morning? What is their favorite food? Are they potty trained? What are those scars from on their bodies? What are they afraid of? What do they like to do?

Neither one is better than the other. Please don't think that! I love my biological children and my adopted child(ren) just the same. They are my children, my gifts from God, my challenges, my blessings, my rewards on this earth.

You otta be in pictures...

It was lovingly brought to my attention that I hardly have any pictures on my blog. Well, here you go. Here are just a few snapshots of our family. Believe it or not, I love photography and actually have a website (though it is not updated) of a couple of pictures I have taken. I wish I had more time to do this, but well, you know...go ahead, take a look...www.countrymemoriesphotography.com

Here is Nathan, at his basketball tournament - he is the guy in red

















Jacob is number 7 - I actually had another picture on here, but it got deleted and the kids are starting to get restless. This was his first year in high school football...yikes!












How many kids can you get into a bathtub?











If any of you know Kylie, this is a typical look from her...
























Our little angel, Kaycee...isn't she beautiful?