This weekend was awful.
It really started last week. Our fingerprints FINALLY came! We celebrated, but it didn't last very long.
My mom and dad were supposed to take all of our paperwork to Denver on Wednesday to get everything certified (third to the last step before we send it to China.)
My dad got put into the hospital over night - while they were trying to get things done.
We had everything planned to take it to Denver on Friday.
I spent the day in the emergency room with my mother in law...
Thank God, both my dad and my mother in law are doing ok.
Friday, we also got an email stating that we needed on more thing certified in Illinois.
Saturday and Sunday, Leonard did literally 20 hours of homework.
Jacob and Nathan studied for finals.
Jacob had two basketball games - which he didn't play in...that would be another post altogether...
Finally celebrated John's birthday.
I finished up an order for a purse and a pair of socks...
Cleaned up dog throw up.
Cleaned up kid pee.
Wrapped presents.
Christmas shopped.
Dealt with a bad grade from one of my oldest children.
Did 10 loads of laundry.
Helped Leonard with his final business plan.
Thought about cleaning the house. Didn't do it.
And then they came. The tears....I lost it last night.
I cried and Leonard sat with me. Not saying a word.
It seems like for every step forward on the adoption, we take two steps back.
I really don't know if I can take anymore. I know that it is all in God's perfect timing.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Happy Birthday...
It is Noah's birthday today. He is 3. In this world there are three mothers...
1. His foster mom - Today she will spend his birthday...I know that the home that sponsors him has a birthday party for each child and their family. I know that she is enjoying this time and loving it. She always looks so happy when she is with him. Thank you so much for loving him before he comes home to us. Thank you for giving of your time, your energy, and your patience to raise him.
2. Me - I think of Noah all of the time. I wonder what he is like. What is he doing to celebrate his birthday? What is his favorite food? What makes him laugh? I pray he is healthy and that his adjustment is quick and secure. I have never met this little boy, yet, he is so deeply etched in my mind and in my heart, that I cannot imagine life without him...
3. His birth mother - Granted, there is no way of knowing exactly when his birthday is. However, whether it was yesterday, today or tomorrow, there is a mother who is without the child she carried for 9 months. She is without the heartbeat that was under hers for so long. She made the very hard decision to give him up. Can you imagine having a child and then having it taken away at only a couple of days old? Can you imagine laying him on the sidewalk, hoping and praying that some one will come by and pick him up?
Noah has three mothers...one that will hold him for a couple of years, one that dreams of holding him for the rest of his life, and one that remembers holding him as he took his first breath and heard his first cry....
Happy Birthday, Noah
1. His foster mom - Today she will spend his birthday...I know that the home that sponsors him has a birthday party for each child and their family. I know that she is enjoying this time and loving it. She always looks so happy when she is with him. Thank you so much for loving him before he comes home to us. Thank you for giving of your time, your energy, and your patience to raise him.
2. Me - I think of Noah all of the time. I wonder what he is like. What is he doing to celebrate his birthday? What is his favorite food? What makes him laugh? I pray he is healthy and that his adjustment is quick and secure. I have never met this little boy, yet, he is so deeply etched in my mind and in my heart, that I cannot imagine life without him...
3. His birth mother - Granted, there is no way of knowing exactly when his birthday is. However, whether it was yesterday, today or tomorrow, there is a mother who is without the child she carried for 9 months. She is without the heartbeat that was under hers for so long. She made the very hard decision to give him up. Can you imagine having a child and then having it taken away at only a couple of days old? Can you imagine laying him on the sidewalk, hoping and praying that some one will come by and pick him up?
Noah has three mothers...one that will hold him for a couple of years, one that dreams of holding him for the rest of his life, and one that remembers holding him as he took his first breath and heard his first cry....
Happy Birthday, Noah
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Where have I been?
The same place we were almost a month ago...waiting for the now infamous fingerprints...
I feel guilty complaining about the wait.
What about all of the little ones out there without parents, not knowing if they will ever have a family.
What about the little ones who do have parents but should be removed from the home?
What about the little ones who don't have enough to eat, a place to sleep, or safety?
What about the little ones who have lost a parent...and don't understand why?
What about all of the little ones who will never know that Jesus died for their sins?
I think about all of the little ones out there. I can't help them all. I can pray for them, I can call out to Jesus to protect them, feed them and comfort them. I can adopt two little ones and give them all of the love that some of the others will never know. I can donate toys to toy drives, sponsor a family this holiday season...but I can't help them all.
Makes me sad...makes me disappointed...makes me want to hurry up this process so Noah can know the love of a family.
I feel guilty complaining about the wait.
What about all of the little ones out there without parents, not knowing if they will ever have a family.
What about the little ones who do have parents but should be removed from the home?
What about the little ones who don't have enough to eat, a place to sleep, or safety?
What about the little ones who have lost a parent...and don't understand why?
What about all of the little ones who will never know that Jesus died for their sins?
I think about all of the little ones out there. I can't help them all. I can pray for them, I can call out to Jesus to protect them, feed them and comfort them. I can adopt two little ones and give them all of the love that some of the others will never know. I can donate toys to toy drives, sponsor a family this holiday season...but I can't help them all.
Makes me sad...makes me disappointed...makes me want to hurry up this process so Noah can know the love of a family.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
I do have five kids at home
Sometimes, it seems like I only write about a couple of my kids. But really I do have more than these, I have five at home and 1 more on his way.
My two oldest boys, 15 and 13, are so incredibly special to me. I can't tell you how proud of them I am.
My oldest, Jacob, is wanting to go into the military after high school. He has wanted to do the military thing for as long as I can remember. Now it is just a lit
tle more detailed.
He is thinking ROTC - which would be great. I told him last year, that if he was still interested when he turned 16, I would take him to talk to a recruiter. I couldn't be more proud of my son who wants to defend his country and his freedom and his Lord. Jacob is amazing.
(He is the one in the white, that is taking the one in the blue down.)
Then there is Nathan. Nathan is Nathan...He is one of the best big brothers three little ones could ever have. He is the one that is always on the floor playing with all of those 5 and under. He plays, he reads, he sings, he laughs, and of course, he fights, with all of his siblings.
He too, loves football. Here, this picture shows him scoring a touch down. The thing I like about this picture, is the student on the sidelines, cheering because my son just scored. Way to go Nathan!!
My two oldest boys, 15 and 13, are so incredibly special to me. I can't tell you how proud of them I am.
My oldest, Jacob, is wanting to go into the military after high school. He has wanted to do the military thing for as long as I can remember. Now it is just a lit
tle more detailed.He is thinking ROTC - which would be great. I told him last year, that if he was still interested when he turned 16, I would take him to talk to a recruiter. I couldn't be more proud of my son who wants to defend his country and his freedom and his Lord. Jacob is amazing.
(He is the one in the white, that is taking the one in the blue down.)
Then there is Nathan. Nathan is Nathan...He is one of the best big brothers three little ones could ever have. He is the one that is always on the floor playing with all of those 5 and under. He plays, he reads, he sings, he laughs, and of course, he fights, with all of his siblings.
He too, loves football. Here, this picture shows him scoring a touch down. The thing I like about this picture, is the student on the sidelines, cheering because my son just scored. Way to go Nathan!!
An update after the meeting
I have waited for a while to post about the meeting, because I needed to take it all in.
Kaycee started preschool, just not where I had originally wanted her. She is currently in the preschool here in our little school. She is there two days a week, from 8 to 11:45. From 8 to 11:15, she has a full time TOD with her.
That is wonderful. Her TOD is a wonderful, loving, hard of hearing teacher, who really likes Kaycee. And Kaycee really took to her too.
Its nice to be able to have Kaycee in the same building as me. And she is in the same classroom as my oldest daughter, Kylie. Kylie just stays all day.
Her 20 minutes of speech she gets a week is with a very gifted SLP who really likes Kaycee too. I like it...I really do.
All of Kaycee's teachers get to look like Hannah Montana because they get to wear the FM system headset. It is kind of the new, cool thing in our building.
All of the teachers have their own name signs, all of the students are going to get their own name signs.
Our music teacher is wonderful and is teaching all of the kids some of the music songs in sign language.
Some of the other kids in the school (remember, we are a prek - 12 school) are very interested in sign language and try to sign with Kaycee. It is all very touching. I am so lucky to be in a school who really does care, and one that so openly accepts my child and all that she comes with.
I have a couple of concerns still: Kaycee is 3, she is in a mixed preschool and kindergarten classroom. She is VERY YOUNG!!!
She is sharing the room with Kylie. Even though they are on very different levels, they are still sharing. (Granted, they will need to get used to this as they get bigger. My four youngest children will all be within 24 months of each other.)
There are other concerns but I am trying to keep my chin up and think very positively about this placement. She is in school, she is happy and she is learning.
For example, for the last year, I have been doing the sign for "red" wrong, and Kaycee told me about it. She grabbed my hands and showed me the right way. :) Gotta love it!!!!
Kaycee started preschool, just not where I had originally wanted her. She is currently in the preschool here in our little school. She is there two days a week, from 8 to 11:45. From 8 to 11:15, she has a full time TOD with her.
That is wonderful. Her TOD is a wonderful, loving, hard of hearing teacher, who really likes Kaycee. And Kaycee really took to her too.
Its nice to be able to have Kaycee in the same building as me. And she is in the same classroom as my oldest daughter, Kylie. Kylie just stays all day.
Her 20 minutes of speech she gets a week is with a very gifted SLP who really likes Kaycee too. I like it...I really do.
All of Kaycee's teachers get to look like Hannah Montana because they get to wear the FM system headset. It is kind of the new, cool thing in our building.
All of the teachers have their own name signs, all of the students are going to get their own name signs.
Our music teacher is wonderful and is teaching all of the kids some of the music songs in sign language.
Some of the other kids in the school (remember, we are a prek - 12 school) are very interested in sign language and try to sign with Kaycee. It is all very touching. I am so lucky to be in a school who really does care, and one that so openly accepts my child and all that she comes with.
I have a couple of concerns still: Kaycee is 3, she is in a mixed preschool and kindergarten classroom. She is VERY YOUNG!!!
She is sharing the room with Kylie. Even though they are on very different levels, they are still sharing. (Granted, they will need to get used to this as they get bigger. My four youngest children will all be within 24 months of each other.)
There are other concerns but I am trying to keep my chin up and think very positively about this placement. She is in school, she is happy and she is learning.
For example, for the last year, I have been doing the sign for "red" wrong, and Kaycee told me about it. She grabbed my hands and showed me the right way. :) Gotta love it!!!!
Monday, October 13, 2008
God is in control
Its here. The dreaded day has finally arrived - Kaycee's very large IEP meeting.
For those of you not familiar with the special education world - IEP - Individualized Education Program - a plan developed just for one specific child, with specific goals, accommodations and modifications.
This is a continuation of one that took place about three weeks ago.
This time the BIG GUNS are out. I mean the really big guns.
Here is the very long, drawn out story, hopefully in a large nut shell.
We are in a small district that does not have special services in our school, we share them all with other schools in a things called a Board of Cooperative Education Services, BOCES.
The BOCES people, think Kaycee's needs: using sign language, improving her expressive language level from about a 14 month old, not being able to communicate effectively, even for a three year old, can be met in a regular education classroom.
In a regular classroom, where 50% of her language would not be recognized. (About 50% of her language is currently sign language.) Where only 50% of the instruction she would be getting would be comprehended by Kaycee, where there are no other children like Kaycee, and where the teacher can only understand about 20% of what Kaycee is trying to say.
Even before we mention the law, does any of that sound right?
Now lets talk law - besides all of the "little" details (not testing at the right time, not giving us the correct amount of time when a meeting has been called, not having our teacher of the deaf there, when she is the only one that has worked with Kaycee as a teacher, etc etc etc) they are not working within the Deaf and hard of hearing child's bill of rights.
It states there that all hard of hearing/deaf (hoh/d) are required to have access to like peers (other hearing impaired children), and are required to be taught in their own language by a fluent person (fluent in ASL and English). The placements they have offered are good ones, but not for a child that has a hearing impairment.
Would it be different if she had been with us from birth? Would it be different if she had been aided from the time she was about 4 months old?
Yes.
She has only been hearing sounds for a year. She is still learning how to hear...imagine having to learn how to hear...
Which direction was that sound from?
Did I need to pay attention to that sound?
Why does mom's voice sound different from just a little while ago? (difference between when mom is happy with me and when she is upset with me)
What was that beeping sound in the kitchen?
Etc....
There is so much to it. More than these experts think there is.
(I was told that having been adopted at 21 months of age really has nothing to do with anything and that the fact that all she heard for the first 21 months of age was very garbled Chinese, means nothing.) Hhhmmmm, I wonder what research says...I know what it says. It says that language development in the first three years of life is the most vital time for rich language acquisition.
I need to stop...I need to work on Kaycee's communication plan for tomorrow.
And I need to pray. I need to give it to God. He is the one in control...
For those of you not familiar with the special education world - IEP - Individualized Education Program - a plan developed just for one specific child, with specific goals, accommodations and modifications.
This is a continuation of one that took place about three weeks ago.
This time the BIG GUNS are out. I mean the really big guns.
Here is the very long, drawn out story, hopefully in a large nut shell.
We are in a small district that does not have special services in our school, we share them all with other schools in a things called a Board of Cooperative Education Services, BOCES.
The BOCES people, think Kaycee's needs: using sign language, improving her expressive language level from about a 14 month old, not being able to communicate effectively, even for a three year old, can be met in a regular education classroom.
In a regular classroom, where 50% of her language would not be recognized. (About 50% of her language is currently sign language.) Where only 50% of the instruction she would be getting would be comprehended by Kaycee, where there are no other children like Kaycee, and where the teacher can only understand about 20% of what Kaycee is trying to say.
Even before we mention the law, does any of that sound right?
Now lets talk law - besides all of the "little" details (not testing at the right time, not giving us the correct amount of time when a meeting has been called, not having our teacher of the deaf there, when she is the only one that has worked with Kaycee as a teacher, etc etc etc) they are not working within the Deaf and hard of hearing child's bill of rights.
It states there that all hard of hearing/deaf (hoh/d) are required to have access to like peers (other hearing impaired children), and are required to be taught in their own language by a fluent person (fluent in ASL and English). The placements they have offered are good ones, but not for a child that has a hearing impairment.
Would it be different if she had been with us from birth? Would it be different if she had been aided from the time she was about 4 months old?
Yes.
She has only been hearing sounds for a year. She is still learning how to hear...imagine having to learn how to hear...
Which direction was that sound from?
Did I need to pay attention to that sound?
Why does mom's voice sound different from just a little while ago? (difference between when mom is happy with me and when she is upset with me)
What was that beeping sound in the kitchen?
Etc....
There is so much to it. More than these experts think there is.
(I was told that having been adopted at 21 months of age really has nothing to do with anything and that the fact that all she heard for the first 21 months of age was very garbled Chinese, means nothing.) Hhhmmmm, I wonder what research says...I know what it says. It says that language development in the first three years of life is the most vital time for rich language acquisition.
I need to stop...I need to work on Kaycee's communication plan for tomorrow.
And I need to pray. I need to give it to God. He is the one in control...
Sunday, October 5, 2008
A Calling...
Ok. I wrote about this A LONG time ago. I have been hearing God's voice talking to me again. No, he isn't saying what I want him to say...(there is another little one waiting for you in China :)
He is saying there is something you should and could be doing for those left behind. There are so many of them, and not just in China. All over the world, including right here in the United States.
I have been tossing around many ideas. Many of them just don't feel right, while others do.
Right now, I really don't have the time to devote to it. I have been praying about though. And the feeling is getting stronger, so I know there is something to it.
While we are waiting for Noah though, I have been asking a few friends and family members if they would be willing to make a blanket for me to take to China with me.
My goal is to have enough stuff to fill a large suitcase. I want to take it to Noah's group home, True Children's Home.
Here is a list of what they need:
Diapers— Size Preemie to Large
Diaper Wipes and Waterproof Crib Pads
Plastic Baby Bottles, Nipples and Bottle Brushes
Infant Formula—Nestle Stages1 and 2
Pigeon Cleft Feeders
Pacifiers and Pacifier Cups
Clothing (new or gently used) - Preemie to 4T
Winter Coats—Preemie to 4T
Socks for Infants and Toddlers
Shoes for Infants and Toddlers
Infant Bath Towels and Bibs
Nebulizers
Nail Clippers, Bulb Syringes and Nasal Swabs
If you have any of these laying around, they can always be used in China.
Its a start anyway!
He is saying there is something you should and could be doing for those left behind. There are so many of them, and not just in China. All over the world, including right here in the United States.
I have been tossing around many ideas. Many of them just don't feel right, while others do.
Right now, I really don't have the time to devote to it. I have been praying about though. And the feeling is getting stronger, so I know there is something to it.
While we are waiting for Noah though, I have been asking a few friends and family members if they would be willing to make a blanket for me to take to China with me.
My goal is to have enough stuff to fill a large suitcase. I want to take it to Noah's group home, True Children's Home.
Here is a list of what they need:
Diapers— Size Preemie to Large
Diaper Wipes and Waterproof Crib Pads
Plastic Baby Bottles, Nipples and Bottle Brushes
Infant Formula—Nestle Stages1 and 2
Pigeon Cleft Feeders
Pacifiers and Pacifier Cups
Clothing (new or gently used) - Preemie to 4T
Winter Coats—Preemie to 4T
Socks for Infants and Toddlers
Shoes for Infants and Toddlers
Infant Bath Towels and Bibs
Nebulizers
Nail Clippers, Bulb Syringes and Nasal Swabs
If you have any of these laying around, they can always be used in China.
Its a start anyway!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
