Lots and lots of kids

A bragging mom...

2009-06-02T06:24:00.001-07:00

Ok, I have to brag. I know that is sinful and pride comes before fall; however...

My boys are playing basketball for high school (Ok so that is hard to think, I have a junior and a freshman....ugh....)

Anyway, for the first game Jacob started varsity and Nathan was the 6th man. I realize it is just summer ball, but I don't think I would be a good mom if I wasn't excited. Right? Right.

It had been a hard time at the end of school for them, so the feeling of some success was wonderful!!!!!! Even dad was a little excited.

We know there is A LOT of hard work that will be needed, and we aren't always going to see them in these spots...I know, but oh well. For right now, I am proud!!!!

Tooth fairy...part 2

2009-05-28T11:59:00.001-07:00

Kylie lost her first tooth. Suprisingly enough, she didn't even flinch. I could not believe it!

So in the last two weeks, we have had 7 teeth lost. Geesh!

In addition, Jacob got braces two days ago. That night he broke a bracket so it was back to the orthodontist the next day.

Next week, we have the first round of dentist appointments for everyone.

Have you seen the advertisement for the Duggars? They are all going to the dentist and there is something like 317 teeth that will be looked at...

Sound familiar?

The tooth fairy

2009-05-15T18:44:00.000-07:00

I think I have found my limit when it comes to taking care of my children.

Jacob, 16, had 6 teeth pulled today. 4 wisdom teeth and 2 permenant molars. They needed to do this to make more room on the bottom.

He will have braces put on in a couple of weeks and then in about a year and a half, he will have jaw surgery. Poor guy.

Anyway, I think I have found my limit, and that is blood from my children.

I just don't do well with it. My skin crawls and I almost feel sick. It is not that the sight of blood bothers me, when they skin their knees or if they have a bloody nose, or pick a scab, really nothing. But when I know there is pain associated with it, I can't handle it.

I am a wimp!!!

John

2009-04-29T19:39:00.000-07:00

John is a pistol. He is naughty and at the same time he is the sweetest little guy. And there are times when he can say and do the funniest things...

For example - tonight we went to pick up Jacob from his baseball game. It was just Jacob, John and myself in the car.

Tomorrow is preschool screening. And like a good mom, I was grilling him on the more important things a four year old going in to preschool should know...

How old are you? What is this color? What is this shape? Etc, etc.

Anyway, I said, "What is your whole name?"

He says, "John."
"No John, what is your whole name?"
"I don't have to tell you because it makes me a headache."

It should be VERY interesting tomorrow when we go through the screening. To be honest with you, I am very nervous. You never know what you might get.

Take for instance, when I asked him to spell him name, he says, "n, h, o, j." Agh. He might show him how smart he is and then again, who knows?

I'm back...

2009-04-28T17:46:00.000-07:00

Well, we didn't win a fortune...actually the only amount we gambled away was the $4 my dad gave us as we dropped of the kids at their house. We were able to bring back $6.30 to my dad. High rollers we are...

What could I possible write about on this trip?

The fact that my husband surprised me with orchestra seating to the Phantom of the Opera?

The almost "Pretty Woman" bathtub at the hotel we stayed in?

Here are some pictures of the hotel where we stayed. Of course these are off of the website and they don't show the bathtub...but honestely, the bathroom was about the size of most hotel rooms!!!

The LITTLE BLACK DRESSES that were so little sometimes you had to look to make sure everything was covered?

The people who were stumbling all over the place after having too much to drink?

Or the absolutely wonderful time I had with my husband...just the two of us?

I could write all day long about those things, honestly.

But I would have to say the best part of the trip was coming back and being with my family again. (Actually Leonard is still in Las Vegas, he doesn't get home until Thursday but I know we are closer to being a family again.)

4 days was a long time...just a brief show for when I am gone to China. At least Leonard will be here to take care of the kids. Pray for him!

Goin' to sin city...

2009-04-23T20:12:00.000-07:00

Leonard and I are off to Las Vegas for a couple of days...actually we won't leave until Saturday morning but right now, I have to pack 5 suitcases, get homework done, take Jacob to the dentist, get my haircut, paint my toe nails, and go to Jacob's track meet tomorrow afternoon.

Hhmm, it is 9:14pm right now on Thursday night, I still have um, let's see, about 10 loads of laundry to do.

So what am I doing? Blogging about having to do all of the work...

But the laundry is calling, the suitcases are yelling and the list of things to do just won't go away!

Still no news on Noah. Day 64...ugh!

Jacob's prom

2009-04-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe Jacob had his first prom. He went to another school's and had a great time. Of course, mom had to cry as she was taking the pictures of her oldest son dressed up in his tux.

I would post pictures of him and his date, but I didn't ask for permission to post her photo on the world wide web...so I will just show Jacob and how handsome he looked.

He was a little nervous here, can you tell?

There were 11 of them that met and had their pictures taken. Then they had dinner and made it to the prom for about 45 minutes, missed pictures, but then went to the after prom. He was finally home at about 4:20 am then had to be ready to leave for Vail for FBLA state at 6:15 am. Haven't seen him since but I am sure he is one sleepy guy!

Kaycee update

2009-04-16T17:58:00.000-07:00

When we were in China, I was traveling with a woman who was adopting her fourth child. She told me that she always that a great milestone in their lives was when they had been home longer than they had been in China.

We are now at that milestone. It is amazing the changes and growth we have seen in her.

When we first came home, she would scream any time Leonard came near her. It crushed him. Now, she cuddles, laughs, calls for, takes naps with, and LOVES her daddy. She can now read the word daddy, sign it and write it.

Kaycee had 4 words in Chinese when we got her. Mama, meme, no, and toy. Now, she is a nonstop chatter box. She talks and signs all of the time. Actually she is sitting here right now telling me about how John hit her.

She knows all of her shapes.
She knows all of her colors.
She knows all of her alphabet; writes, signs, recognizes, says
She knows all of her numbers up to 16; writes, signs, recognizes
She can group small items with small items.
She can match items.
She is even getting to the point where she will let the PE teacher and the male bus driver get close to her. Not too close, and mommy always has to be there, but she will talk to them now.

She has come so far, she is a different little girl.

She is beautiful, smart, sweet, and very clean - almost obsessive about it...

She is my daughter!
She is getting to the point where she can make her needs be met.

A new blog

2009-04-08T13:08:00.000-07:00

I decided to have a blog just for Noah. We did it for Kaycee. I thought he needed his own too.

You can see things that are Noah only things at http://lovingnoah.blogspot.com

Unfortunately, most of these things right now are complaints from me, so really, I am sorry.

However, I know that in a few short months, they will not be complaints, they will be praises.

Just hang in with me!

Do I dare...

2009-03-30T17:07:00.001-07:00

Do I dare hope?

Two LOA's came today at 75 and 77 days. The average had been around 95-105 days. Could it be getting faster?

Could we still travel this summer? We are at 40 days today....

I don't dare...........

Spring Break has Sprung!

2009-03-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

Oh the hair...what is going on? Actually John woke up looking like Don King, so Jacob and Nathan decided to join in...

Can you believe I was actually able to get this picture? It is absolutely amazing! It didn't last long, so it is a good thing I got it when I did!

And the picture below. It is kind of hard to see but they are Kylie's fingernails and toenails. She wanted something "fancy." Orange, green, purple and pink. How much more fancy can a girl get?

P-E-N-G-U-I-N

2009-03-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here amazed today.

Kaycee - 3 - is sitting next to me very quietly coloring while I finish up 3 assignments for my class. I look over after noticing some movement that doesn't go along with coloring...

Kaycee is signing and saying every letter that is in the coloring book. Then after she signs the letters, she signs the word. (The words that are in the book are just the titles and there are pictures of the titles, like penguin....but still.)

Two nights ago, she and I were in my room at school and she was writing on my board. She likes to write her name. Then she signs, "write John name." So I signed J-O-H-N to her. She wrote it on the board, just like it was nothing. So I signed to her to write Jacob's name. I signed it to her again, J-A-C-O-B she wrote all of them except the B - she made a "d" instead. (I have some junior high kids that still get this wrong.)

I am now actually getting a little nervous about her being in preschool for three years. She has been in part time this year, then will be in full time for two years.

But I don't think it would be a good idea for her to be in John's class. Actually, I think that would be a really BAD idea!!!

I know she will be ahead of Noah, do I keep him back so the competition is less between the two? He is a little younger than Kaycee...

Time will tell, I guess.....

2024...here we come

2009-03-20T15:14:00.000-07:00

After having 2 boys and attending tball games, baseball games, football games, basketball games, two games of soccer, and even one practice for wrestling, I have a wonderful treat for myself.

Gymnastics...yes, my girls are doing gymnastics. And they both LOVE IT!

I was told by the O.T. that if I had concerns about Kaycee's balance, I should take her to gymnastics to work on it. So after getting done with basketball for the boys, I signed the girls up for gymnastics. Was it for me more than them?

Probably - at the beginning...but...

Kylie wants to go everyday. Each morning, "Is this the day I get to go to gymnastics?"

So what does the 2024 mean? The Olympics of course. So keep that date open...of course it would probably be in the late summer, I just am not sure of the exact date...or really where it might be. I guess I need to start paying attention to the announcements of where it is going to be held the next time. :)

Redirected

2009-03-12T09:59:00.000-07:00

After a week and a half of a heavy heart and finally coming to the conclusion that I would travel along sometime in September or even October, I received a very surprising email.

Let's back up.

At this time, I will have six days paid for my adoption - the trip and the bonding...I have been told that I can see if our school board will change this policy. I have MORE than enough sick days to pay me through 8 weeks of maternity leave, however, as this is not a physical birth, 6 days. Moving on....

I emailed our agency to make sure that I would be traveling sometime after school started. I didn't want to have to go through the process of trying to get a policy changed if I didn't need too at this point.

Email back states, "we received an email from China today with your family's LID. It is 2-19." Ok, so this is only two weeks sooner than 3-2, however, 2 weeks is 2 weeks!!!!!!!

Still, I most likely will be traveling right as school starts. As our agency said that families are usually traveling 6 months after their LID. 8-19. School starts 8-17. And then there is Kylie's birthday on 8-30.
_______________________________________________________
Email received while I am typing this...

We are confirming with China right now to see which LID is yours. Ugh. 2 weeks is 2 weeks.

Remember the snow day?

2009-03-10T08:04:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures I took on our snow day from a while ago. Yes, this much snow closed our school. Why? Wind. When there is wind with the snow, it is bad...very bad.

This is Kylie...freezing but loving it!

Just know that this DOES not happen very often. These two fight more than any other children I know. (They are 10 months apart.) But here they are displaying the best team work ever!

I told Kaycee that in China, she wouldn't have seen the snow. "I like snow." She signs back and laughs!

It was absolutely freezing. But you can't tell by John's face! He loved it until we had to go inside!

Where are the older boys? They were inside, where it was very nice and warm playing Guitar Hero...

March 2

2009-03-03T09:07:00.000-08:00

It is supposed to be a good thing when you actually get your LID. It really is. I should be jumping up and down...

But I'm not. Actually I feel so heavy hearted right now, I can't even think right now.

Our LID is March 2. Yes, March 2 - yesterday. We were supposed to be DTC on January 24...what happened? I don't know.

4-5 months to LOA
and about 3-6 weeks later for TA...(There is a new form that has to be filled out and sent to immigration before you can travel.)
Then about 2 weeks later travel. Travel in September - October? Summer is just about out of the question now.

I am sick.

Happy Late Chinese New Year

2009-03-01T14:17:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love True Children's Home newsletter. Each time I get it, I hold my breath as I open it...

Here is another wonderful surprise. Another picture of Noah.

Looking at more than just the sweet little boy in the picture, I notice that his pincher grasp (fine motor skills) and his ability to balance while in a squatting position (gross motor skills) look good! :)

Makes me wonder about something else...is he left handed? He looks like he is opening the tin with his left hand. Interesting! :)

Living on Faith

2009-02-27T12:52:00.000-08:00

I attended a funeral earlier this week for a friend who died of cancer. Instead of mourning the death of him, we celebrated his life and the fact that we all know where he is now...He couldn't wait! He knew he would be healed - either here on earth or in heaven.

During the funeral, our pastor talked about living on faith. He talked about Noah being shunned by his friends and neighbors because he was building the arc. Noah was laughed at and made fun of.

But Noah knew he was hearing God speak to him. He knew what God wanted him to do. Noah did what the Lord wanted him to do and he was rewarded for it.

Do you think adoption is a little like this? You hear God speaking to your heart about these children? You see their sweet little faces and know that this is what the Lord is calling you to do?

I have heard all of the comments from many people as we adopt...how much does it cost? I can't believe you are adopting again. Don't you have enough kids...etc, etc.

And there have even been times when I listened. Yes, we do have enough, no we don't need anymore. We could be spending our money on other things.

But then I hear that Voice again. And I see those sweet, precious eyes looking out from the pictures again, and I know, and I will follow.

Yes, she needs sign language

2009-02-25T10:50:00.000-08:00

I was asked again, "Why do you have to do sign language with Kaycee? She has hearing aids, right?"

There was even one time this comment was made, "Kaycee's hearing is so good she will not be saddled with sign language all of her life."

Saddled? Interesting that this would be the chosen word when it was from a special education teacher. Actually, this was the head of special ed in my area. HHHmmm...

ANYWAY...Kaycee has been very successful with sign language.

For example, yesterday we were talking about it being warm. I was not signing to her,
I was just talking.

Kaycee looked at me and signed, "Where worm." (I don't like bugs and those types of things, so when I sign bug, snake, etc, I wrinkle my nose. She has also learned to do this. And when she thought there was a worm, she was a little concerned.)

I signed back..."No, there is no worm. It is warm in here." Not getting there was no worm, I signed it was "hot in here."

Yes she says. Hauck...(She has a hard time with "t" at the end of her words.)

Sign language is very important to her language. Spontaneous, expressive signs range in about the 50 word range. I really should make a list.

Receptive signs - I really think she has the same vocabulary I do (in sign language.) 200 words? I really should make a list. :)

So as you can see, even though Kaycee has almost regular hearing with her aids, sign language has been a huge part of her communication.

So, yes, she needs sign language. Will she need it all of her life? Who knows? Probably not. She is actually starting to drop some of the signs that she learned early on where she now knows the spoken word AND can be clearly understood.

Noah on the other hand, will most likely need sign all of his life...if his audiograms are correct - he is not only missing the external part of his ears, one of them is missing the inside also. But we really won't know that until we have him home.

Speaking of this subject...still no LID. UUGGHH!!!! It has been over a month since we were DTC. Oh well. All in God's timing!!! :)

Out of the mouths of babes...

2009-02-20T11:36:00.000-08:00

The other day Kylie (5) and I were talking...

Mommy, you have 3 daughters.

No, Kylie, I only have 2.

No, you have 3.

No, Kylie, there are only 2, you are my first and Kaycee is my 2nd.

Nope, you have 3.

Ok, so where is this 3rd daughter of mine?

She is in China with Noah........

Sooooo funny!

2009-02-10T19:29:00.000-08:00

I was reading another adoptive mom's blog...I came across this. Granted, it is a little out of season right now but none the less, I had a great big laugh! Hope you will enjoy it too!

Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed,cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the
doctor's office more than my own doctor and sold
sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant ashade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could
spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to
write this letter with my daughter's red crayon, on the
back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and
who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next
18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache(in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms
that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong
enough to pull my screaming child out of
the candy aisle in the grocery store.I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere
in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year
I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that
only plays adult music, a television that
doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking
animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind
the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll
that says, 'Yes, Mommy' to boost my parental
confidence,
along with two kids who don't fight and
three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without
the use of power tools.I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks
chanting 'Don't eat in the living room' and
'Take your hands off your sister,' because my voice
seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can
only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products,
I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my
hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food
warmer than room temperature without it being served in a
Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few
Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it
be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will
clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you
could coerce my children to help around the house without
demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized
crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my
daughter saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think
she wants her crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to
leave your wet boots by the door and come in
and dry off so you don't catch a cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat
too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always,
MOM

Something to share

2009-01-27T14:09:00.000-08:00

Noah is currently being supported by True Children's Home.

Here is a picture of his 3rd birthday party.

It makes my heart hurt...it really was one of those times when I inhaled very quickly when I saw his picture in their newsletter. My heart skipped a beat...

A day off of school...what to do?

2009-01-26T09:02:00.000-08:00

You know, there are days I am as bad as the kids...

It is a snow day here in Northern Colorado.

No school WOO HOO!!!!

What does a teacher do when there is no school? Laundry...dishes...cleans rooms...etc etc etc!

AND gets an email from her agency that states we are DTC (Dossier to China) TODAY!!!!!!!

Today is a very momentous occassion!

Should we try to guess when we will be traveling, then we can look back and see howclose (or how far away we are...)

Ok, DTC today - Janaury 26, 2009
Arrival in China? Let's guess January 30, 2009
LID? I think the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) is closed next week also for Chinese New Year, so I will guess that our LID (Logged in Date) will be February 9, 2009
LOA - Letter of Acceptance - CCAA will send a letter that makes sure we are still wanting to adopt Noah, then we send it back. These have been taking about 90 days...May 10, 2009
Then about 2 weeks later we get the TA - Travel Approval telling us when we can travel - let's go with May 25, 2009
Then we would travel about two weeks later...June 8th? Could that we the day we get Noah? Let's see how close that is.

How long is that from today? 119 days...I think I will put a stipulation in here that states:
We cannot be liable for any dates that are not accurate and
ALL DATES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE!!!

Another update

2009-01-23T11:36:00.000-08:00

The little 13 year old girl - she found her family!!! Yeah!! It was not us..too bad. But the main thing here is that another child has found their family!

Our paperwork should be on its way to China today. We said yes to Noah back in February of '08, and we are DTC in January of '09...

GOOD GRIEF!!! With Kaycee, it was 9 months... start to finish! Post Hague adoptions are the pits.

BUT can you believe it? We should be able to start our countdown here soon. Of course we have to get through Chinese New Year...:)

Oh well. At least it is totally out of our hands now. (It always has been out of our hands, as in it has been in God's hands; however, now the paperwork is really out of our hands now.)

God speed, dossier...safe travels!

Update...

2009-01-11T15:18:00.000-08:00

After sending our dossier to our agency, there were two items missing. Actually one item wasn't missing, but Leonard's doctor had marked him as having Hep B. China would have said NO!!! if that would have gone to them. So it was a good thing our agency was on the lookout for things.

So it was back to getting paperwork done, notarized, and certified...then overnighted to our agency AGAIN, and I am thinking this is it.

We should know tomorrow.

But...you know all of the delays we have had.

Little stops along the way. All the while I knew God was at work for some reason.

I may have found the reason.

I hate to even think it. I hate to even dream it. I hate to even write it.

My sister in law- a mom to four kiddos from Eastern Europe reads a lot of adoption blogs. She found one today.

It talked about 4 older kids that will be turning 14 in the next few months. When that happens in China, they are no longer adoptable. At all. They then head for a life of who knows what.

One little girl has to be adopted by July or else.

She loves crafts. She loves knitting. She loves clothes.

Could she be the reason?

How many miracles would have to take place in order for her to become my daughter?

Let's start with the first miracle...my husband! ABSOLUTELY NO MORE KIDS has been stated more than once.

I brought it up to him this afternoon. He didn't say no.

Then let's go to China, the CCAA. They require that all adoptions have at least one year in between them. However, for the older, harder to place, they are willing to give many waivers to families.

I have asked a couple of different people who are much more experienced with Chinese adoption. They have stated that if I could possibly get our I797 (Immigration approval) changed to have two adopted, and have our homestudy amended so that it states we can be approved for two kids, there would be a chance we could adopt two at a time....which was TOTALLY unheard of until just this last year.

No I won't think about it. No I won't dream about it. But I am on my knees praying about it. Praying God will remove this thought from my mind and this feeling in my heart. Maybe her family has already found her. I so very much hope so!!!!

Long ago pictures

2009-01-04T17:50:00.000-08:00

Have you seen that commercial for Walgreens? The one where all of those people are standing around from different events: a wedding, fishing, football game, riding a pony, etc.

And someone else pops in...and all of the people get mad?

"Not another one," says the bride.

Then beep, beep, beep, and all of the people look worried. "Someone's going to be deleted."

"Not me," says the fisherman, "I was deleted last time." The pop, the fisherman is deleted.

I have 6 cards for my camera. And believe me, these are not the small ones. They hold somewhere between 200 to 400 pictures EACH!!!

Guess what I have on each of these cards? You guessed it....I had to delete two pictures so I could take the picture of our dossier.

Anyway, here are some from LAST SUMMER!!!! We took a day trip to Wyoming to see a train...

Anyone know what this is?

2009-01-04T17:31:00.000-08:00

For those of you from the adoption community...you know what this is. This is all of the blood, sweat, tears, worry and frustration all scattered on my bed. (Actually it really isn't all of it...the homestudy is already at our agency.)

For those of you not from the adoption community, this is our dossier. It has our birth certificates, marriage certificate, two background checks each, a letter of adoption, employment and salary letters for both of us, physicals for each, and the ever elusive I797 (letter from the US government stating we can adopt a foreign orphan.)

All of them are notarized.

All of them are state certified.

Tomorrow they will all be in the mail to our agency to be sent to the Chinese consulate to be authenticated.

Then translated.

Then sent to China.

Then the wait starts ALL over again.

But at least once it is there, it is only a matter of months before Noah is home.

In the mean time, we need to...

get passports for Jacob and Nathan...(they are traveling with me)

Leonard will take 6 credits,

I will take 9 credits,

I will be teaching 6 credits at Aims,

I need to take one of my PLACE tests for my masters,

watch about 20 more basketball games,

about 10 baseball games,

go to about 10 track meets,

have 8th grade graduation,

Leonard will be in Las Vegas for a week,

and possibly take a family vacation to Pennsylvania at the end of May.

Hhmm, I think we will be busy. Hopefully this will help the time go fast! :)

They finally came...

2008-12-15T21:05:00.000-08:00

This weekend was awful.

It really started last week. Our fingerprints FINALLY came! We celebrated, but it didn't last very long.

My mom and dad were supposed to take all of our paperwork to Denver on Wednesday to get everything certified (third to the last step before we send it to China.)

My dad got put into the hospital over night - while they were trying to get things done.

We had everything planned to take it to Denver on Friday.

I spent the day in the emergency room with my mother in law...

Thank God, both my dad and my mother in law are doing ok.

Friday, we also got an email stating that we needed on more thing certified in Illinois.

Saturday and Sunday, Leonard did literally 20 hours of homework.

Jacob and Nathan studied for finals.

Jacob had two basketball games - which he didn't play in...that would be another post altogether...

Finally celebrated John's birthday.

I finished up an order for a purse and a pair of socks...

Cleaned up dog throw up.

Cleaned up kid pee.

Wrapped presents.

Christmas shopped.

Dealt with a bad grade from one of my oldest children.

Did 10 loads of laundry.

Helped Leonard with his final business plan.

Thought about cleaning the house. Didn't do it.

And then they came. The tears....I lost it last night.

I cried and Leonard sat with me. Not saying a word.

It seems like for every step forward on the adoption, we take two steps back.

I really don't know if I can take anymore. I know that it is all in God's perfect timing.

Happy Birthday...

2008-12-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

It is Noah's birthday today. He is 3. In this world there are three mothers...
1. His foster mom - Today she will spend his birthday...I know that the home that sponsors him has a birthday party for each child and their family. I know that she is enjoying this time and loving it. She always looks so happy when she is with him. Thank you so much for loving him before he comes home to us. Thank you for giving of your time, your energy, and your patience to raise him.
2. Me - I think of Noah all of the time. I wonder what he is like. What is he doing to celebrate his birthday? What is his favorite food? What makes him laugh? I pray he is healthy and that his adjustment is quick and secure. I have never met this little boy, yet, he is so deeply etched in my mind and in my heart, that I cannot imagine life without him...
3. His birth mother - Granted, there is no way of knowing exactly when his birthday is. However, whether it was yesterday, today or tomorrow, there is a mother who is without the child she carried for 9 months. She is without the heartbeat that was under hers for so long. She made the very hard decision to give him up. Can you imagine having a child and then having it taken away at only a couple of days old? Can you imagine laying him on the sidewalk, hoping and praying that some one will come by and pick him up?

Noah has three mothers...one that will hold him for a couple of years, one that dreams of holding him for the rest of his life, and one that remembers holding him as he took his first breath and heard his first cry....

Happy Birthday, Noah

Where have I been?

2008-11-18T08:49:00.000-08:00

The same place we were almost a month ago...waiting for the now infamous fingerprints...

I feel guilty complaining about the wait.

What about all of the little ones out there without parents, not knowing if they will ever have a family.

What about the little ones who do have parents but should be removed from the home?

What about the little ones who don't have enough to eat, a place to sleep, or safety?

What about the little ones who have lost a parent...and don't understand why?

What about all of the little ones who will never know that Jesus died for their sins?

I think about all of the little ones out there. I can't help them all. I can pray for them, I can call out to Jesus to protect them, feed them and comfort them. I can adopt two little ones and give them all of the love that some of the others will never know. I can donate toys to toy drives, sponsor a family this holiday season...but I can't help them all.

Makes me sad...makes me disappointed...makes me want to hurry up this process so Noah can know the love of a family.

I do have five kids at home

2008-10-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, it seems like I only write about a couple of my kids. But really I do have more than these, I have five at home and 1 more on his way.

My two oldest boys, 15 and 13, are so incredibly special to me. I can't tell you how proud of them I am.

My oldest, Jacob, is wanting to go into the military after high school. He has wanted to do the military thing for as long as I can remember. Now it is just a little more detailed.

He is thinking ROTC - which would be great. I told him last year, that if he was still interested when he turned 16, I would take him to talk to a recruiter. I couldn't be more proud of my son who wants to defend his country and his freedom and his Lord. Jacob is amazing.

(He is the one in the white, that is taking the one in the blue down.)

Then there is Nathan. Nathan is Nathan...He is one of the best big brothers three little ones could ever have. He is the one that is always on the floor playing with all of those 5 and under. He plays, he reads, he sings, he laughs, and of course, he fights, with all of his siblings.

He too, loves football. Here, this picture shows him scoring a touch down. The thing I like about this picture, is the student on the sidelines, cheering because my son just scored. Way to go Nathan!!

An update after the meeting

2008-10-23T19:44:00.000-07:00

I have waited for a while to post about the meeting, because I needed to take it all in.

Kaycee started preschool, just not where I had originally wanted her. She is currently in the preschool here in our little school. She is there two days a week, from 8 to 11:45. From 8 to 11:15, she has a full time TOD with her.

That is wonderful. Her TOD is a wonderful, loving, hard of hearing teacher, who really likes Kaycee. And Kaycee really took to her too.

Its nice to be able to have Kaycee in the same building as me. And she is in the same classroom as my oldest daughter, Kylie. Kylie just stays all day.

Her 20 minutes of speech she gets a week is with a very gifted SLP who really likes Kaycee too. I like it...I really do.

All of Kaycee's teachers get to look like Hannah Montana because they get to wear the FM system headset. It is kind of the new, cool thing in our building.

All of the teachers have their own name signs, all of the students are going to get their own name signs.

Our music teacher is wonderful and is teaching all of the kids some of the music songs in sign language.

Some of the other kids in the school (remember, we are a prek - 12 school) are very interested in sign language and try to sign with Kaycee. It is all very touching. I am so lucky to be in a school who really does care, and one that so openly accepts my child and all that she comes with.

I have a couple of concerns still: Kaycee is 3, she is in a mixed preschool and kindergarten classroom. She is VERY YOUNG!!!

She is sharing the room with Kylie. Even though they are on very different levels, they are still sharing. (Granted, they will need to get used to this as they get bigger. My four youngest children will all be within 24 months of each other.)

There are other concerns but I am trying to keep my chin up and think very positively about this placement. She is in school, she is happy and she is learning.

For example, for the last year, I have been doing the sign for "red" wrong, and Kaycee told me about it. She grabbed my hands and showed me the right way. :) Gotta love it!!!!

God is in control

2008-10-13T18:42:00.000-07:00

Its here. The dreaded day has finally arrived - Kaycee's very large IEP meeting.

For those of you not familiar with the special education world - IEP - Individualized Education Program - a plan developed just for one specific child, with specific goals, accommodations and modifications.

This is a continuation of one that took place about three weeks ago.

This time the BIG GUNS are out. I mean the really big guns.

Here is the very long, drawn out story, hopefully in a large nut shell.

We are in a small district that does not have special services in our school, we share them all with other schools in a things called a Board of Cooperative Education Services, BOCES.

The BOCES people, think Kaycee's needs: using sign language, improving her expressive language level from about a 14 month old, not being able to communicate effectively, even for a three year old, can be met in a regular education classroom.

In a regular classroom, where 50% of her language would not be recognized. (About 50% of her language is currently sign language.) Where only 50% of the instruction she would be getting would be comprehended by Kaycee, where there are no other children like Kaycee, and where the teacher can only understand about 20% of what Kaycee is trying to say.

Even before we mention the law, does any of that sound right?

Now lets talk law - besides all of the "little" details (not testing at the right time, not giving us the correct amount of time when a meeting has been called, not having our teacher of the deaf there, when she is the only one that has worked with Kaycee as a teacher, etc etc etc) they are not working within the Deaf and hard of hearing child's bill of rights.

It states there that all hard of hearing/deaf (hoh/d) are required to have access to like peers (other hearing impaired children), and are required to be taught in their own language by a fluent person (fluent in ASL and English). The placements they have offered are good ones, but not for a child that has a hearing impairment.

Would it be different if she had been with us from birth? Would it be different if she had been aided from the time she was about 4 months old?

Yes.

She has only been hearing sounds for a year. She is still learning how to hear...imagine having to learn how to hear...

Which direction was that sound from?

Did I need to pay attention to that sound?

Why does mom's voice sound different from just a little while ago? (difference between when mom is happy with me and when she is upset with me)

What was that beeping sound in the kitchen?

Etc....

There is so much to it. More than these experts think there is.

(I was told that having been adopted at 21 months of age really has nothing to do with anything and that the fact that all she heard for the first 21 months of age was very garbled Chinese, means nothing.) Hhhmmmm, I wonder what research says...I know what it says. It says that language development in the first three years of life is the most vital time for rich language acquisition.

I need to stop...I need to work on Kaycee's communication plan for tomorrow.

And I need to pray. I need to give it to God. He is the one in control...

A Calling...

2008-10-05T18:25:00.000-07:00

Ok. I wrote about this A LONG time ago. I have been hearing God's voice talking to me again. No, he isn't saying what I want him to say...(there is another little one waiting for you in China :)
He is saying there is something you should and could be doing for those left behind. There are so many of them, and not just in China. All over the world, including right here in the United States.
I have been tossing around many ideas. Many of them just don't feel right, while others do.
Right now, I really don't have the time to devote to it. I have been praying about though. And the feeling is getting stronger, so I know there is something to it.
While we are waiting for Noah though, I have been asking a few friends and family members if they would be willing to make a blanket for me to take to China with me.
My goal is to have enough stuff to fill a large suitcase. I want to take it to Noah's group home, True Children's Home.
Here is a list of what they need:
Diapers— Size Preemie to Large
Diaper Wipes and Waterproof Crib Pads
Plastic Baby Bottles, Nipples and Bottle Brushes
Infant Formula—Nestle Stages1 and 2
Pigeon Cleft Feeders
Pacifiers and Pacifier Cups
Clothing (new or gently used) - Preemie to 4T
Winter Coats—Preemie to 4T
Socks for Infants and Toddlers
Shoes for Infants and Toddlers
Infant Bath Towels and Bibs
Nebulizers
Nail Clippers, Bulb Syringes and Nasal Swabs

If you have any of these laying around, they can always be used in China.

Its a start anyway!

While we were sleeping...

2008-10-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

...a gift was delivered.

There are new pictures of Noah. But this time, there was a little something extra in the gift...pictures of his foster parents.

I have some of Kaycee's too. It is something that will be wonderful to share with them. I showed a picture of them to Kaycee a little while ago. There was no indication that she remembered them. She was 21 months old, had only been with them for about 3 months, and it had been over a year since she had seen them. Tells me she wasn't really attached to them that much. I don't have a picture of her first set, she was with them for over a year.

Anyway, with Noah's foster parents they seem so happy. Kaycee's never smiled in any of the pictures. Noah's seem truly happy. The source I have says that they really love Noah. It is evident in the photo.

I am sad for him. He is in a very loving home right now (at least that is what it looks like.) In just a few short months, his life will be turned upside down! I am praying for him every day that his transition will be as smooth as Kaycee's was. But Kaycee wasn't attached - Noah is.

My oldest daughter

2008-09-24T18:48:00.001-07:00

Kylie turned 5 about three weeks ago.

She is one of my precious angels.

After trying to have a child for about 2 years and enduring at least two miscarriages, she is what became of our infertility treatments.

I can't believe it has been 5 years. I have to be honest, I think she is one of the cutest little girls I have ever seen.

She is starting pre school in about two weeks and she CANNOT wait!!!!

The earrings were a gift from dad. She doesn't have her ears pierced but she thinks she is a big girl and needed to wear them in her pictures.

Que the angels and glorious light from Heaven!!!

2008-09-15T20:07:00.000-07:00

Our fingerprint appointment is on 9-26-08 at 8:00 in the morning!!! Praise GOD!!!!!

We are getting SO CLOSE!!!!!

Noah will be home so soon!!!!

a second post in two days...

2008-09-04T17:18:00.000-07:00

UUGGHH,

I am a special education teacher, and I love it! There is never a dull moment during my days and my days are never the same.

I spend my days working with kids that need more help than just general education and making sure they are getting what they need.

What is this post about? Kaycee and her educational needs.

Kaycee has bilateral microtia, her ears are not formed on the outside. She has a mild to moderate hearing loss. She hears clearly - when things are yelled, you hold her ear to your mouth and talk at a louder than normal level, or she has her hearing aid on.

The first 24 months of her life, she heard muffled sounds, including 18 months of nothing but Chinese.

Kaycee needs a little extra in her educational setting.

So what exactly is the problem? We are having a hard time getting her into where she needs to be.

We live in a very small town in rural Colorado. We don't have an audiologist, school nurse or anything else like that at our school. We have to share these specialists through our BOCES - Board of Cooperative Education Services.

We have three deaf and hard of hearing preschools within driving distance, one about 35 miles away, one about 50 miles away and one about 65 miles away.

Of course, the one that is 35 miles away is closed to out of district students, as is the one that is 50 miles away. The only one that is accepting students from out of district is the one that is 65 miles away.

UUGGHH - here is my 2 year old, soon to be 3 year old. She has about 60% of her language by using sign language. The rest of it is oral and pointing, asking and the worst part - frustrating...

So we wait for the big transition meeting for Kaycee. To decide what to do with her preschool.

No matter what, some part of this is going to go away from the table not happy.

Unfortunately, I am a part of all of the parts...I work with everyone that will be deciding Kaycee's fate.

I got some really good advice from one of the experts that I work with...

Loyalty is something that should be taken with a grain of salt. The school can rebound from whatever is decided. BOCES can rebound from whatever is decided. But Kaycee won't be able to rebound from whatever is decided. Whatever is decided will affect Kaycee for the rest of her life.

Talk about pressure!!!

Just think, next is the decision about surgery!!!

And just think, when Noah comes home, we get to do the same thing for him!

An update on the adoption front

2008-09-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

We received an email from our agency yesterday. All of our paperwork has been sent to the USCIS! WOOHOO!!! This means that we have to wait about two weeks for an invitation to be fingerprinted, then after that it is another waiting game for our fingerprints to come back from immigration.

Then, we send all of our paperwork to the state to be certified.

Then, we send all of the certified paperwork to our agency and they send it to the Chinese consulate to be authenticated.

Then they receive it back, and SEND IT TO CHINA!!

Seems simple enough. Shouldn't take too long.

Did I mention that it could take up to 3 months to get our fingerprints back from immigration?

Then did I mention it would be another 2 weeks to get things certified?

Then did I fail to mention it would take up to another month to get things authenticated?

HHMM, another 4 1/2 months?

I pray this is the absolute worst case senario...

Who is this??

2008-08-18T06:43:00.001-07:00

Just look at our little guy, he is getting so big. I can't believe how tall he looks. Doesn't he look like he will just fit right into our family?

He is 24 pounds and almost3 feet tall. According to my research, he is in about the 45 percentile for size, on American charts. A little small, but really for Asian, not too small.

It also sounds like he is getting potty trained, and he has a vocabulary of 3 words. He understands a little more than that but as far as vocalizing, 3 words is it. But apparently there is hearing, that is wonderful!

Come on paperwork!!! He is waiting for us!!!

Craziness abounds!

2008-07-21T06:53:00.000-07:00

As is usual - it is crazy in our household - we are preparing for school...

Jacob will be a sophomore this year:
getting his driver's license - so he drives everywhere - we have to keep track of his hours...ugh
basketball just ended, football will be starting in the next two weeks and then we are off on the never ending - except for two weeks in the summer - sports seasons
he just went in for his physical - he is 6' tall and weighs 153.2 pounds - he was very concerned because he lost 2 pounds...again, ugh!

Nathan will be in 8th grade this year:
he just finished his rocket for 4H, we shot it off yesterday, this is the fourth year he has done a rocket and it was by far the best launch he has ever done
Nathan just finished softball - they got 2nd, now he waits until the first day of school to start junior high football - there will be a new coach this year :( so he is a little concerned about that...
Nathan is about 5'4" so he is starting to be able to look me eye to eye - you can tell he is liking that.
Kylie will be in preschool this year, or pretty school as she calls it
We bought her her PE tennis shoes - anyone who is from out here understands what this is all about - and she is so excited. But she can't figure out why she cannot wear them...so she just carries them around.
John will be in preschool too - just not as long.
He could really care less about the whole thing. Preschool to John is just a word, although he does love to play with other little ones that aren't his sisters. He probably does need the influence of other little boys - he wears a lot of high heels, pushes strollers, and likes pink...you get the picture
Kaycee will also be in preschool - we just haven't figured out where yet...To make a REALLY long story short - I would like to have her in a program with other deaf and hard of hearing kids...but we aren't getting there yet - with the resources we have - not to mention the nearest one is about 1 1/2 away from us....
Leonard is going to be starting his graduate degree on September 2. He is nervous and excited. He will actually be getting a dual masters - organizational management and project management. Sounds impressive, doesn't it? I am very proud of him.
And of course, me - I will be in my 9th year of teaching - ugh 9 years. Anyway, I am still in grad school too - I have 19 credits to go...39 down...I am tired, VERY tired!!! But oh well......

It is kind of funny actually - we are ALL getting ready for school this fall, we will all be in school from 2 years old to, well, me who is somewhere around 29-39 years old.

continued

2008-07-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

Computers...uugghh!

Anyway, now with the I800 - it takes up to 2 or 3 months to get the appointment for fingerprints, get our fingerprints, then wait about 2 months to get approved.

THEN we send all of our dossier to our agency (after it has all been notarized) then they send it to our state to get it certified, then to the Chinese consulate to get it authenticated. All of that can take maybe 1 or 2 months, depending.

SO - when will we have our paperwork to China? I thought maybe it would November - now I think that is hopeful! Our LOI went in May - really we only have until August to have few problems. If we take until November, we could have a "bumpy road" according to our agency. After November? Who knows, it would be horrible to think about...

All while a little boy sits in China, no language, no hearing, and no family.

Worried...

2008-07-09T07:55:00.000-07:00

So it has been a really long time since I last wrote. It isn't because there isn't anything going on, it is just that well, you know, we have been busy!

We finished up the home visits part of the home study, all but one child has their physicals- the last one is Monday and Leonard and I have ours done.

We are in a stand still with the adoption. It is crazy, sickening, worrisome, and long. And really, it is hard to explain, but let me try!

There are 24 hours of parenting classes required by the federal government for adopters. We have taken 30 with social services, and 22 through our homestudy agency = even though I didn't major in math, I think that comes out to 52 credits taken...I would say that is more than enough, but no. It isn't.

Ok, here comes the complicated part...some of it is our fault, some of it isn't.

Since we adopted Kaycee, something new has been implemented by our government - it is called the Hague. In the adoption community, this really is not a pleasent word.

All agencies must become Hague accredited - meaning they have to jump through a lot of hoops, fill out a lot of paperwork and be approved. HHMMM, does that sound like international adoption?

Ok, with the Hague, they are requiring all parents to take 6 classes, each 4 hours long. We have taken 3, been given credit from our 30 hours for 1 and have 2 left.

These are not offered again until the middle of August.

Supposedly, we cannot complete our homestudy and apply for our I800 until these are done. I have spent many sleepless nights, many times on the phone and many emails to our agency. FINALLY! The immigration specialist stated that we could put a note in our homestudy that states we understand these classes need to be taken before we travel - ok, no problem! Got that under control.

Some people, including my husband ask why one month would make sure a huge difference. Why was I worried so much...here goes the explanation:

Noah's file came to our agency late last year. It was under the old system - where China sent an actual paper file to the agencies, and each agency got their own list of SN children.
We didn't decide to adopt Noah until February. We were NOT ready in the least - finacially or paper ready. So we knew it would take a long time to get done.

Fast forward a couple of months - China has now changed their system - it is all electronic - and all agencies share the same list of SN children. Noah's file had to be completed, with a Letter of Intent, by the middle of May.

When China was on the paper system, they would let families have at least 6 months to get their paperwork completed, now that they are on the electronic system, they only have 3 months.

Go back to the I800- with the old system, the I600, we could apply for fingerprints before our homestudy was completed, wait for our appointment, get fingerprinted, send in our homestudy, wait to be approved ,then be completly done. It took us 5 months - and that was pretty quick with Kaycee.

Now with the I800 - we have to have our parenting classes completed, then finish our homestudy (because the homestudy cannot be completed without the parenting classes done), then apply for our fingerprints

Another "Kreation!"

2008-06-04T15:01:00.001-07:00

Here she is...isn't she cute? Minnie Mouse purse, with a Princess Kreations tutu. I think they are cute...Anyone want one? Just email me...vkrise2002@yahoo.com

Best friends are we...

2008-06-02T20:13:00.000-07:00

We have had the pleasure of having some little "extra" people running around our house for the past two days. This little people are our nieces and nephews. Anyway, we have had a lot of fun the last couple of days but probably the best time was when Kaycee and Ellie (both have bilateral microtia) were talking.

Both of them have a moderate hearing loss, both of them had just gotten up from their naps, and neither of them had their hearing aids on.

Here is the scenario:

"Blah, blah, blah..." says Ellie - very loudly.

"Blah, blah, blah..." says Kaycee - also very loudly.

Kaycee: "Yeah!"

Ellie: "Yeah!"

This went on for about 30 minutes - both talking very loudly, a lot of nodding, a lot of "yeah", a lot of jibber jabber. It was adorable!

Kaycee has been home for almost a year, and is 2 - China.

Ellie has been home for less than four months, and is 4 - Ukraine.

Nathan said it was like having the United Nations in our home this weekend...Russia, Ukraine, China and the United States. (I am not completely sure, but I don't think some of these countries are part of the United Nations, but I get what he was saying...)

It felt really good...

2008-05-18T20:18:00.000-07:00

...to be back behind the camera again. I have been so busy the last couple of months, I don't think I have even reached for the camera. So today was beautiful and we headed for the park!

Could they be ANY cuter????? I don't think so!

The earthquake -

2008-05-15T10:37:00.000-07:00

It is very sad. Last night, as I was putting my three little ones to bed, I thought about how lucky I was to be able to put them into bed.

I realized how lucky I was that we had blankets for all of our kids, beds for them, food for them, and a roof for them.

We have a car to take them to 4H, to pick them up from practice.

The biggest thing we have to worry about is who is going to get them and at what time.

I have read stories about people sleeping in tents with five other families. Living under a plastic canvas

Some people have just started walking, not really knowing where they are going, just walking.

I know that Noah is fine, the earthquake was not close to his province - Thank God. But I think about those other little ones who maybe weren't so lucky. There are many parents out there that are waiting and wanting some news about their children.

Here is a list of the orphanages that have been affected some how:

Abazhou CWI: Unknown (52 children according to HTS)
Baoji, Shaanxi: No injuries reported. Minor damage to the building but they are able to remain inside. (LWB)
Chengdu: Safe, children are outside of the building during the day due to aftershocks. When it rains they go into the institution’s buses. At night they are on the first floor of the Children’s Building. There are cracks in some (but not all) buildings. (HTS and Agency). OCDF reports there is no electricity, water, or gas. They need diapers since they cannot wash. HTS reports they are having trouble finding supplies of milk and formula.
Chongqing: Safe (HTS, OCDF, and an agency)
*Deyang: Children are safe, minor damage to building (LWB OCDF)
Dianjiang, Chongqing: Children are safe, no damage to building (Parent)
*Dujiangyan: Children are safe. Children have been evacuated. Their temporary shelter has no tap water or electricity. They urgently need food, clean water, diapers, and powdered milk. (HTS)
Fuling, Chongqing: Children are okay, no damage to current building. New building that is still under construction and not occupied sustained structural damage. (Parent and Agency) LWB and OCDF report damage to the building and are not clear if it is the new building or the one currently occupied. An agency reports cracks in the buildings currently occupied.
Fungdu: Safe, no damage to building. (OCDF and Parent)
*Guanghan: Unknown
Guangyuan : Safe, staying in tents outdoors for now. (Parent)
Ganzizhou: Unknown
Hanzhong City SWI, Shaanxi Province: Children are safe, staying outside of building due to aftershocks. There are reports that the buildings sustained significant damage, and other reports the building sustained minor damage. There are tents set up for now. (Parent) Water pipes burst, water tower has cracks. Children have been evacuated and they need more tents, bedding, and clean water. (HTS)
Liangping SWI : Children are Safe (OCDF, Parent, and agency). Reports of serious structural damage. (2 Agencies)
Mama’s Wish: Teachers and students safe (LWB)
*Mianyang CWI: Children are Safe. (Parent and HTS) Severely damaged walls, children have been moved to a military base. They have an urgent need for diapers, bedding, powdered milk, and clean water. (HTS)
Mianzhu SWI: Unknown.
Nanbu: Children are safe. Building has cracks. (Agency)
Nanchong #1: Safe (Agency and OCDF).
Nanchong #2: Children are safe (Agency, OCDF, HTS). Damage to buildings (OCDF and HTS) They need tents (HTS)
Nanchuan, Chongqing: Safe, no damage reported. (LWB and Agency)
Neijiang: Children are safe. Some structural damage to possibly several buildings. (HTS and Parent)
Panzhihua: Unknown
Rongxian: Unknown
Santai County: Unknown
Suining: Unknown
Wanzhou: Children are safe. Building has cracks (Agency)
Wenjiang County: Unknown
Xiushan, Chongqing: Safe, no damage reported. (LWB and Agency)
Yibin: Safe (HTS and OCDF)
Yunyang, Chongqing: Safe. (LWB and Agency) LWB reports there is no damage to the building, but an agency reports there is some damage to the building.
Zhaotong Foster Care program, Yunnan: Safe (LWB and Agency)
Zigong CWI: Children are safe. They need bedding, powdered milk, crackers and disposable diapers (HTS)
*Zitong County: Unknown

Two part post about mother's day...

2008-05-11T14:23:00.000-07:00

Part 1:

I am a mom, through and through.

I am excited when my child goes potty on the potty, when they can write their names for the first time.

I am excited (and a little sad) when my oldest talks about graduation and going into the military in less then 3 years.

I have watched my two oldest become young men, while I wish my youngest would let us sleep in on Saturday mornings past 6:00.

We watch Dora and NiHo Kai-lan with our 2, 3, and 4 year olds and work on Algebra, US History and watch the X-Files with our 13 and 15 year olds.

However, on Friday, it struck me and it didn't feel very good. NBC with Teleflora decided to have a "mom contest." To make a really long story short, they had some definitions of different kinds of moms. Like military moms, etc. One of the categories was "non mom." Under this title, was the definition: adoptive moms.

HHmm, how sad that some people in society view motherhood only as giving birth. A mom can only be a "real" mom if she has gone through the physical act of bringing a child into this world. How incredible. Apparently, these people have never known anyone who has gone through everything it takes to adopt a child. Are their children "non children?"

I look at Kaycee, she is my daughter, through and through. We have a lot in common. We are the only ones in our family who like tomatoes. We are the only ones who like broccoli. She loves to have her back and feet rubbed, just like I do. (I am getting off topic here...)

It really made me mad and it was very offensive. I cannot imagine how moms felt who have built their families purely by adoption. I would be very upset...

At least though, after they were bombarded with emails and phone calls, the company changed the title to "adoptive mom." Which in its own way is still offensive. What about just "mom." Why do they have to be different and singled out?

Part 2:

Its Mother's Day today. And while yes, we have celebrated it here (I got to do some laundry this afternoon) I think about Kaycee and Noah's birth moms.

What are they doing today? There are 52 countries in the world that celebrate Mother's Day - I admit, I am not sure that China is one, however, it is a day when I must think about those two women.

When they are both a little older, maybe next year, I am going to start a tradition for their birth moms. Maybe we will plant flowers, or take some plants to a nursing home, plant a tree, go to the mountains, something, anything that will help both of them remember the sacrifices their moms went through.

But I do have to say to both of them, thank you. Thank you for giving me the gifts of your child. Thank you for letting me raise them, love them, and hold them. Thank you for giving birth to them. You will always be their first mom.

Kaycee and her language...

2008-05-05T17:20:00.000-07:00

I have to keep reminding myself that Kaycee is only 2. She has been home almost 10 months, has only been aided since October and really just started talking.

When I say talking, I mean talking...up a storm...as in the girl won't stop...

She would be a great gossip!

Tonight, our dog peed by the front door. Out of Kaycee's mouth comes, Daddy, dat naughty.

Then she looked at Jacob - Dadob, dat naughty.

After a while, she says, mommy, I have coodie. (Cookie)

Then it is, Mommy, I potty.

I really would have to say the girl is on her way.

Now let's look at her sign language. We were reading a book, "The Very Hungry Caterpillar." She is starting the sign the book. If I could figure out my video camera, I would video it and put it on here. It is so cute. Her favorite part is when the caterpillar isn't a little caterpillar anymore, he was great big, fat caterpillar.

She is a precious little gift in our family.

Updates and more updates...

2008-05-01T10:59:00.000-07:00

I have a source...

I have a person that is watching our little guy in China and can fill me in on Noah. What a very precious gift....

Here is the latest...

Noah is a sweet and loving child. He seems to be very observant and likes to imitate others. He enjoys going outside playing ball, sliding down the slide at the park and likes to play with toys that move or with music.

At times he will cry if he does not get what he wants. Diverting his attention to something else seems to help.

He seems to be a healthy child. He does have dry skin. He likes to eat soup, meat porridge, bananas, apples and cake. He likes to drink milk. Currently he weighs 11kg, head size is 45.5 cm, chest 46 cm, foot 13.5 and height 86 cm.

In every day life if you talk to him face to face in a normal voice he can respond. Example: good-bye, turn of the TV and pick up the phone. While playing by himself he will notice voices and sounds and will look to see the source.

He can say Mama and Papa in a very low voice. He will point to what he wants or lead you somewhere to help him. He enjoys “helping” round the house. Example: likes to bring things and moving the stools.

If you are anything like me, I had to use a converter calculator to get his size. He is 24 pounds and about 2 ft 9 in. He is a skinny little thing. Kind of built like Kylie.

busy, busy

2008-04-29T20:38:00.000-07:00

With a lot of kids, comes a lot of activity...there is hardly ever a moment when there isn't something going on around here.

Saturday, Jacob had a track meet in Akron (not Ohio...) but mothernature had other plans. They got there, watched two of the girls run two events, and then the track meet was canceled due to snow. Yes, snow. Here we were sunburned from just a couple of days earlier, when we took the 6-12 grade to the Rockies game.

Monday, Jacob had his district baseball playoff game. Unfortunately, after being up on the other team, (our very big rivals) we lost. It was too bad, as we had just beat them Friday.

Today, both Jacob and Nathan had their league track meet in Sterling. Nathan placed 6th place in the 100 meter, and Jacob's relay team won. So Jacob has now qualified for state in his freshman year in track. (Can you tell I am proud of him?)

Tomorrow and Thursday, I think are quiet days, just track practice for Jacob and a couple of tests.

Friday, Leonard and I have to go to Denver to take some classes for our adoption. During our adoption of Kaycee, we were supposed to take 24 credits, as this is a requirement for the state of Colorado. However, honestly I forgot. So now that we are wanting to adopt again, we have to have our classes done before we can get our homestudy certified by the state. UUGGHH, oh well.

Our classes start at 5:30 Friday night, then there are two more classes Saturday - all day, while Jacob is running in his state track meet. UUGGHH!

Sunday, should be a "relaxing" day...church, youth, an anniversary party, Sunday night church for the adults.

Then, it all starts again...only this time, I will be lucky enough to be back in school. 9 credits for my masters...Behavior Analysis, Adaptive Technology, and Literacy for special needs students. Sounds fun...however, I am not sure when I will find the time to study...Any suggestions?

A very recent picture,...

2008-04-23T17:41:00.000-07:00

I received a wonderful present today...it is a very recent picture of our newest addition, Noah. In addition to this, just seeing that he is healthy and happy was a gift in and of itself!

As I have stated before, Noah is currently part of the True Children's Home in Guangdong Province and is in foster care. Apparently, every quarter, the foster parents and children get together with all of the other parents and children and go do something really fun. Well this picture shows him playing on a car at a park with two of his friends...it is priceless... Can you tell which one is Noah? I will give you two hints...he is not the one on the left or the one on the right...:)

Getting this picture today makes me realize how precious our time with our children really is. How much we take for granted that we can get a picture of our kids whenever we want. We can hug and kiss them, tell them stories, laugh with them, take a walk with them, whenever we want. When all you have is a photo or two, and you never know when you will get them, you realize how precious they are.

Even though we are just starting this process again, and it seems to be dragging and not getting done, I know Noah is our son. He is the youngest member of our family. He is the one that will take the middle name of Leonard's great grandfather. He is the one that will share a bedroom with John. He is the one I worry about in school.

It is unexplainable, no words can do it justice...

Love Without Boundaries

2008-04-23T08:38:00.000-07:00

LWB is a non profit organization which helps orphans in China who need medical attention. Most of these children are the ones who need life saving heart surgery.

LWB will be having their charity auction on Ebay starting 4-24 and ends 4-29. It is so important to get this word out...

I was contacted by them and donated two tutus and a pair of cupcake shoes to the auction. I really hope they are able to raise the money they are needing.

In addition, for those of you that shop on Amazon - if you would go through their website first to get to Amazon, they will receive proceeds from your purchases.

A lot to fill you in on...

2008-04-14T12:00:00.001-07:00

I have been gone for over a month. Wow, time flies...

Anyway, we have been going pretty much none stop since my last post. Jacob is playing baseball and running track, Nathan is running track, and Kylie, John and Kaycee have been sick off and on.

Leonard and I went to Las Vegas for a couple of days - really it was because he had convention for work, I just hung out by the pool and relaxed. It was really nice to get to be just the two of us. We have gone on many vacations, but there is always someone's child around. (For example, we have gone to Florida and California without our children, however, we had about 10 other kids with us for their senior trip.)

Anyway, it was nice, but Las Vegas is really not for me. I spent $6.00 and Leonard spent $1.00 in the nickel slots. Last of the big spenders, aren't we? But when you are trying to come up with about $16,000 in the next 10 months for an adoption, it is hard to spend money on something that doesn't usually give anything back.

Speaking of adoption: We wrote out our Letter of Intent (LOI) and have sent it to the agency. The letter states we understand that Noah has a special need, that he is not a "healthy" child, and that we still want to adopt him anyway. But the bad news is...China has recently changed their rules regarding adoptions - of which, none of them have affected us...except that we cannot send in our LOI yet as we are not close enough to being done with our dossier or our homestudy. Apparently, there is now a three month window in which the paperwork needs to be done in...just found that out today. YIKES! Three months...This really is impossible, as the homestudy needs to be completed in order for us to get our immigration paperwork completed. We have to apply for a time to get fingerprinted, first, but have to have the homestudy done - first. The homestudy will usually take about 3 months to be completed. Confused? It seems that if you are not familiar with international adoptions, it does get very complicated and crazy.

Here is a breakdown: (not mine...yet)

1. Our LOI is completed and in the hands of the agency.
2. The agency is going to hold the LOI to "buy us some time"
3. We are waiting to be matched with a social worker to do our homestudy.
4. The homestudy needs to be completed (three visits with the social worker)
5. The homestudy needs to be completed before we can apply for our I800a, immigration ok to be fingerprinted.
6. We then need to get fingerprinted and then wait to get those back.
7. In the meantime, we are gathering birth certificates, marriage certificates, doctor's notes, letters of employment, etc etc etc...Geesh, we just adopted less than a year ago, can't they just use some of that? Just kidding...
8. At which time, all of this paperwork needs to be notarized, certified and then authenticated, then it can all be translated and then sent to China. I will explain all of this in another post. I am a little tired right now...

Compare/Contrast

2008-03-13T05:55:00.000-07:00

Over the last 15 years, I have been blessed with both giving birth to my children and adopting my children. Both of them are blessed events, both full of wonder, worry, pain, and joy. Even though both of them end with the same gift - that of a child - they are so different...

Giving birth, you worry about finances after your little one is home.
When adopting, "after my little one is home? Geesh, haven't even thought of that...what about paying all of the fees just get our little one home?"

Giving birth, you feel the first kick and movement, you gaze at the ultrasound and dream of this little being growing inside of you.
When adopting, you gaze at a photo, which is most likely at least 6 months old, and wonder if your little one is healthy, getting enough food, being held, safe, warm, pain free, being loved.

Giving birth, you get a due date and dream of that day.
When adopting, you have so many deadlines, most of which come and go without producing anything.

Giving birth, you decide if you will have a baby (in most cases)
When adopting, you have to wait for a foreign country to tell you you can have this child, then you have to have it ok'd by our country's government.

Giving birth, as you get further along, you get comments all of the time - "When are you due?" "How exciting." Etc, Etc.
When adopting, only close friends and family know you are "expecting" and most people don't "get it."

Giving birth, no one ever asks you "why in the world would you do that?"
When adopting...well it has been asked.

Giving birth, if your child is born with a birth defect of some kind, people would not criticize you for keeping this child.
When adopting a child with a special need, people criticize you for "bringing these children into our country for us to care for."

Giving birth, you are exhausted from hours of labor.
When adopting, you are exhausted from months and months of paperchasing, waiting and waiting, promises that aren't kept, worrying about fees, traveling half way around the world to a foreign country, and two weeks with food that you would sometimes rather not have. Not to mention the time differences (13 hours)

Giving birth, you lose a lot of sleep in the first couple of months, as your child does not sleep at night.
When adopting, you lose a lot of sleep as your child does not sleep because they are on a different time schedule than you, and most likely they have night terrors.

Giving birth, people come to visit after you are home from the hospital.
When adopting, no body comes to visit.

Giving birth, people understand if you love this child before you actually give birth.
When adopting, "How can you be in love with a picture?" is stated more often than not.

Giving birth requires no ok from a social worker (although I think it should in some cases.)
When adopting, you can't unless you have a 10-12 page report, written about your family, your parenting style, your criminal history, your work history, all of the children in your home, have been fingerprinted at least twice, produce a statement that shows you are financially able to support this child, have health insurance, life insurance, 3 references from people who know how you parent, and at least $20,000 to pay the fees.

Giving birth, is a wonderful, blessed, God sent event. After 9 months of waiting, you hold this perfect little being in your arms. You know their complete history from the time of conception to this exact moment. You know all of their medical history, their bloodline, everything.
When adopting, you know very little, if anything. Did they eat breakfast this morning? What is their favorite food? Are they potty trained? What are those scars from on their bodies? What are they afraid of? What do they like to do?

Neither one is better than the other. Please don't think that! I love my biological children and my adopted child(ren) just the same. They are my children, my gifts from God, my challenges, my blessings, my rewards on this earth.

You otta be in pictures...

2008-03-06T17:39:00.000-08:00

It was lovingly brought to my attention that I hardly have any pictures on my blog. Well, here you go. Here are just a few snapshots of our family. Believe it or not, I love photography and actually have a website (though it is not updated) of a couple of pictures I have taken. I wish I had more time to do this, but well, you know...go ahead, take a look...www.countrymemoriesphotography.com

Here is Nathan, at his basketball tournament - he is the guy in red

Jacob is number 7 - I actually had another picture on here, but it got deleted and the kids are starting to get restless. This was his first year in high school football...yikes!

How many kids can you get into a bathtub?

If any of you know Kylie, this is a typical look from her...

Our little angel, Kaycee...isn't she beautiful?

We did it...

2008-02-27T21:00:00.000-08:00

We did it.
As crazy and insane as this sounds, we did it.
We have filled out the application for our newest addition...
The first piece of paper of hundreds..
What does that mean?
It means we get to start talking in acronyms, dealing with dates, etc.
So with that in mind, lets get down and find out what is going on...

1. We filled out the application and electronically sent it to the agency tonight. Tomorrow, we will send the actual one with our application fee.
2. We are currently waiting for an LOI (letter of intent) that needs to be filled out by us, sent to the agency, translated into Chinese and then sent to the CCAA (Chinese.) The LOI is basically a letter from us, stating why we want to adopt this little guy, how we will take care of him, and what our plans are for him.
3. After the CCAA has approved us (hopefully) we will receive a PA - which means pre approval.

For those of you who believe in signs from God, keep reading...
This little guy's "American" name from the agency (which really isn't his real name, it is just one that is given to the children by the agency in order to make it easier for people to reference these kiddos when asking questions to the agency.) HHMMM, it is getting late.
ANYWAY, his "English" name is Noah on the agency's website.
Tonight, out of the blue, my husband, Leonard, disappears downstairs for a while. He returns with a book "15,000 baby names."
"I thought you would like to look through this tonight." For those of you who know him, you know this is huge...
I said, I would really like you to pick out his name. I got to pick Jacob, Nathan, Kylie and John's first names. I would like for you to pick this one. I just had one request - all three of our other boy's names are Biblical. I would really like for his name to be Biblical also.
Leonard said, I would like for his name to begin with an "N" so Nathan didn't feel left out...John, Jacob...
"What about Noah?" Leonard says. Ok, here is the deal...I have been the one with all of the paperwork. Leonard has only seen the paperwork with his Chinese name on it. Never has he seen or heard anything with Noah on it. Is anyone following me?
So Noah it is...I get to pick a middle name. Better get the book and start trying them on for size.

I will take door number 2

2008-02-24T11:57:00.001-08:00

So what's it like, being mom to five kids?
What goes on behind the closed doors of our two story, in the country of Colorado?
How does our family function?

Here are two very funny (at least to me) episodes from this family of seven...

I decided I was going to cut and color my hair. Naturally, I am a brounette. However, for some reason (I am only 35) I have started going gray. Now, understand, I am a teacher by trade, and most students are not afraid to remind you how gray you have become since they have known you.
Anyway, I got my hair done last night, I am now a blonde. My 15 year old son met me at the door - "What happened to your hair, mom?"
I said, I got scared and it turned this color. "You look old!" Meanwhile my husband has said nothing about it.
By the time I got home, my little ones were asleep. They did not see me until this morning.

Kylie (she is 4) walks in this morning and says to me, "Wow, Mom - what happened to your hair? It looks like Muffin's fur!" (she is our dog, who has white fur.)

Nathan and John have said nothing up to now. Kaycee just sat on my lap and played with my hair all morning.
After church, Kylie looks at me and out of nowhere says..."Mom, your hair is so gray." She says this about 4 times. Finally John thinks it would be fun to get in on the comments and says, "Mom, you hai is gway!" And runs away laughing.
______________________________________________________________________
If you have a weak stomach, or are eating anything right now, you might want to come back later.
While we were eating lunch, John announced he needed to go potty. We have a safety handle on the door because John and Kaycee think it is a lot of fun to play in the potty. Anyway, we asked Kylie to please open the door for him.
John goes in and proceeds to do his business. At the same time, apparently, Kaycee was doing her business. She still wears a diaper...
She comes to me and says "potty." Now, I thought she was talking about John going potty. I said, "Yes, John potty."
She leaves.
About a minute later, I hear John say, "Taycee, you tink!" I think to myself, she must have really done her business. Let me eat this last bite and then I will change her.
Jacob exclaims, "John, why do you have Kaycee's diaper?"
We all look, and sure enough, John is carrying Kaycee's diaper through the living room and is ready to through it away.
In my mind I am putting everything together...Kaycee says potty, John stating that Taycee tinks, Kaycee not having a diaper on anymore, and Kaycee is no where to be seen.
Its one of the moments, when you really don't want to see what is behind door number two (ha ha ha ha!!! I am so funny!)
Your mind thinks the worst of course. Is it smeared on the walls? The floor? All over your child?
I walked down the hall, dreading it more and more with each step!
Finally, I looked in - there it was. In all of it's glory...Kaycee's poop. On the floor, in a pile. Yep, there it was.
As my eyes took in the view, I realized it wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. There was a small bit on her shoe, a little on her finger, that was it. Most of it was in the pile that must have fallen out of her diaper.
I think it must be time to start potty training Kaycee.

Somebody stop me!!!

2008-02-22T19:02:00.000-08:00

I am an addict. I really am.
I cannot control myself. At least admitting it is the first step to being cured.

I am addicted to crafts. There I said it.

I can't stop. I love to make things...sewing, tutus, crocheting, you name it, I am addicted to it.

But I figure, this is the best way to help fund our adoption. I sell these on Ebay and Etsy. And really, I have a lot of fun doing it. Here are some of my newest creations...

Crocheted Minnie Mouse purses...

Ok, I took this picture off of ebay, so it doesn't look so good, but it is Kaycee in a Minnie Mouse outfit! I thought she looked adorable.

And these are the latest...Aren't they cute? These are Kylie's newest shoes. Kaycee has some just like them except her's are lace up, but they are just as cute. With these, really the possibilities are endless, any color combination a person could want!

Now I just need to get rid of the addition and things should be much better. Do you think they have a 12 step program for people like me?

This is what it is all about...

2008-02-16T20:38:00.000-08:00

I have a friend, which I met in China. She was there adopting her fourth child from China...her eighth child overall.
This little boy, who was older than most of the kids that are adopted, had a severe heart defect.
It was killing him, literally.
He had all of the effects of a bad heart, I won't even try to go into the details because I don't know enough about these things, but I know it was bad.
But even though his heart was not good...he still had a heart of gold.
We were in province with Lynn, her three daughters and two of her sons, my mom, Kaycee and me. After her two older sons left, this little gentleman was "the man of the house (or hotel, whichever you like.)
He opened the doors for us, made sure we were all on the elevator, all of us had a chair to sit in, and then we he would go about his business.
He played, he talked on his walkie talkie, he swam, and he slept. He was tired, his heart was making him be this way.

Fast forward a few months...he has had his heart fixed, and now he can run, he can play, and he doesn't get so tired.
You need to check out his story at - http://www.theunion.com/article/20080215/NEWS/144242038

Make sure you have a kleenex handy (for good tears, I promise.)

This really is what adoption is about. Bringing families together, for the good of the family.

Being thankful...

2008-02-14T19:12:00.000-08:00

Life gets hectic sometimes for everyone. Sometimes we can get down, feeling like we have the world on our shoulders.
I know, I have pity parties all of the time - between school, five kids, (including two teenagers, no need to say more about that), work and a husband, sometimes it feels a little overwhelming.

Then, you get a "God smacked" and you realize that your life if pretty darn good.

Leonard and I are currently still reviewing a little guys' file. While going through his file, there was a letter in there from an American who runs a children's home in China. This little guy had been living there. In the following link, you will see his picture (can't tell you which one) along with many other little ones who are living there.
It makes you realize what you have in life when you have something as basic as a family.
These little ones have never known the love of a family. Most likely at this point in their lives, they don't understand it completely. But some day they will.
Whether it is when other kids go home, when they hear the nannies talking about their own families, or when they age out of the orphanages and realize that in the "real" world, people do not grow up in a building with dozens of other kids, being cared for by people who are getting paid to take care of them.
Sure these are just pictures of children. Yes, all of these children were born with some sort of birth "defect." But when you really look at these little ones, you can see that they are living, breathing, moving, and loving little beings, just looking for their families.

You can see these babies at: http://truechildrenshome.org, then click on our children.

Tell me, if you really look at them, that you can still have that same pity party. I know my attitude changed.

A day with three sick kids, four and under...

2008-02-12T13:54:00.001-08:00

For the last five days, the three little ones have been sick. I have stayed with them most of the time, as Leonard is very busy at work.
Thank God I have wonderful co-workers, who will cover for me...so I don't have to worry about school.
I have been just treating the symptoms that they are showing, as you know the typical answer you get from the doctor..."It is just a virus, it has to run its course." UUGGH, I hate that answer. Not that I want my children to really have anything, I just want something for them. Give me a sugar pill if nothing else.
Anyway...after almost a week, (Yes I am going to get the mom of the year award...) Kylie and John have double ear infections and Kaycee just has the crud...apparently she cannot get ear infections as she has no ears. At least that is one positive with her SN.
So before the doctor appointment, Kaycee's teacher of the deaf came out to work with Kaycee. But today was a little different.
She was going to videotape me working with Kaycee. To see how much language she has so we can do it again in about a year and see how much she has changed. In addition, the tape will be given to some people (I have no idea who) so they can critique her language.
Anyone ever been video taped working with your child, so you can be critiqued? It really was not very fun...
We started off pretty well. Kaycee sat on my lap and we read a book. Then looked at another book with a lot of pictures in it. She labeled everything in the book that she knew.
(Remember, Kaycee is 2) then that was enough of the book. It was also enough of the language stuff too. She wanted to color and write - which required no talking. Nothing.
Meanwhile, Kylie and John were feeling neglected, I guess, because all of a sudden, they were everywhere! Kaycee had migrated into the eating area of our kitchen. Our eating area has a two story wall and the hallway upstairs looks down into the eating area.

THUNK!! Here comes John's firetruck from upstairs, straight down onto ceramic tile in the eating area. Pieces everywhere. Meanwhile, the video tape is still going...I guess if there is one good thing, at least it wasn't John coming down like the firetruck.
I hope I can get a copy of the video tape so I can show it to John when he is a dad.
___________________________________________________________________
A side note...Have you ever heard that a child is supposed to be half their adult height by the time they are 3? Well, anyway, I have...John is three...John is 3 feet, 3 3/4 inches tall. Could he really be 6'7 1/2" when he is an adult? His daddy is 6'5", so I guess it is a possibilty...Good grief, we are going to have take out a home equity loan just to feed him......

The many, many corners of life...

2008-01-27T17:59:00.000-08:00

Corner #1:

For the last two weeks, our family has been living on pins and needles. Leonard interviewed for a job in Kansas.

This job would be wonderful. The increase in pay would be more than I make in a year. Not to mention, it would be just a better job. But on the other hand, we would have to move our kids.

The little ones are not so bad, but the older ones would be really hard to move. Jacob would be a sophomore and Nathan would be in 8th grade. It would be really hard.

We have prayed and prayed, and prayed again that it God's will be done. So we wait. The longer we wait, the less faith we have that he will get the job, but of course - God's will.

Corner #2:

I have written a couple of times of my desire to adopt again. Most likely a little girl from China. There are many reasons:

1. Kaycee needs someone in the family that shares her birth country.

2. Kaycee has been so easy to adjust to, I know she has spoiled us...but that is ok!

3. I don't think a person can go into an orphanage and not be a changed person. Walking around, seeing the children...you will never be the same, really.

The first children I saw at the orphanage were four babies, all about 6-9 months old, cleft affected. Then in the next room were three babies - about 6 months old, all had CP, or at least that is what they were diagnosed with. They just layed there in their cribs. Needing held, needing love.

The next room was the preschool room. There were three boys in this room who will never be adopted out because they were "stolen" babies. They do not know who their parents are, but cannot be adopted because they were not abandoned.

The next room were school aged children, but due to SN they were not able or allowed to go to school. One little boy, about 8 years old had been badly, badly burned. His face and body. To this day, it will still make me cry.

For more on this little guy, go to http://www.fujiankids.org/ they are doing a fundraiser for him so he can have some surgeries. (He had been abandoned as a baby, was adopted by a Chinese family. Then there was a fire at his house and his mother was killed, he was burned very badly, so he was sent back to the orphanage.)

Anyway, I have been watching a little "boy's" file since about October. He has the same SN as Kaycee, although it does appear he can hear a lot better than she can, he actually has normal hearing, even without a hearing aid. His file is due back in a couple of weeks. After a file is returned to China, the file may or may not be sent to another agency. If it is not, the child will most likely live in the orphanage for the rest of their life.

He really has my heart. I have prayed for him, advocated on my groups for him, and still nothing. No interest in him, no family for him.

This was the same way with Kaycee. Her file was only days from being returned, and look what a beautiful little princess we have in our lives.

I am sold, just have to get my husband to jump on board.

I asked him to pray about this little boy. Not for anything, but just for this little boy.

He did.

"Let's talk about the adoption." He said this afternoon.

"What about it?"

"Let's see how and if we can bring him home."

I had prayed for a miracle yesterday afternoon. I asked for a sign. Perhaps this is it....

Tutus and more tutus

2008-01-15T18:22:00.001-08:00

So I am making these tutus and really have a lot of fun making them. I think I have about seven between my two girls...We have a bunch of different colors. Right now, I have an order for four more and a lady who is trying to figure out if she would like to do a bulk order.

As I was making these, I was trying to figure out how many I have made and how many yards of tulle I have used.

At last count, I had sold 11 off of my website. Not as much as I would like, but this blog is the only "advertisement" I have done.

As far as ebay...I had to count, looks like about 43...

Then there are the personal sales around town...one for a poodle, one for a three year old and one for a five year old.

57 tutus, at 70 yards of tulle per tutu, is that really 3990 yards of tulle? Wow! That is a little hard to get my mind around...

The more there is though, the more I have for who I would like Chloe.

My sister in law has a wonderful blog about their adoption. She calls her daughter Maddie all the way through, but her name is going to be Eliana, mine is Chloe. Really that is what I would like to name her. But husband says no to that...I guess we will see...

But back to the tutus - they are a lot of fun to make, and really I wouldn't mind making more.

Pictures, pictures and more pictures...

2008-01-03T14:20:00.000-08:00

I was having more computer problems, so I posted the other post and then did this one with pictures.

Side of the road - we were parked on the sidewalk.

First time we see Kaycee.

At the passport store.

Doing the temporary paperwork.

Before we get changed.

After we are changed.

Sound asleep...

Pizza - looks good but really didn't taste that great. We actually each ate one bite and that was it...

Day three...

2008-01-03T14:03:00.000-08:00

Actually this should have been posted yesterday - and really it was. However, my computer shut down at the end of the post and I didn't have time to repost it.

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Day Three - We get Kaycee!

After not sleeping for most of the night, we were ready to leave the hotel at about 4:00am. Finally, the wake up call came and we were ready to go.

We headed straight for the busses and got on. And waited...and waited...

Finally, after about 45 minutes, we were on our way. Finally! We were going to be with Kaycee in just a matter of hours.

The rush hour hit. Remember...I live on a dirt road in rural Colorado. If there are two cars on our road at the same time, neither car knows what to do.

Rush hour in Beijing meant the bus drivers got out to have a smoke. They saw people they knew. They hung out and talked like they had just met at a ball game. There was no "hurry up" anywhere. So we waited...and waited.

Now, if you know me, I am not a patient person. Actually I have very little patience. I truely believe it was God teaching me another lesson. It was going to be on His time.

Finally, we were off again to the airport.

We got there and boarded the plane. We were just an hour from where Kaycee was. I prayed she was ok, and that she would do well with the transition.

We landed...got our luggage...and, yes you guessed it...waited!

Our guide was not there. I walked and walked the airport - unlike the Beijing airport, the Fuzhou airport was very quiet and very clean.

Finally, we spotted our guide and we were off. Driving up the coast to where Kaycee was. As we passed the run down housing of the area, we learned we would be driving to a shopping center, would be given Kaycee, her photo would be taken and we would need to do some paperwork. Minutes, merely minutes.

As we pulled up in front of the shop (we were parked on the sidewalk) we were told to "wait" here. Our guide went to see if Kaycee was inside the passport shop. No - not there. They were on their way.

Finally, a van pulls up next to ours, and our comes a lady, with a precious little girl in her arms. There she was.

All of the paperwork, the tears, the signatures, the unknown, the fear, and yes, the waiting was done. She was there.

We jumped out of the van, my mom with the camera and me with the video camera. Kaycee was there. Our daughter, who was born without ears, who for all we knew was deaf, was standing in front of us, inches from me.

I reached out, touched her hair and the lady handed her to me. On the side of the road, in front of a little photo shop, my life changed.

Here was this little child in my arms. My deaf daughter looked at me, and said as clear as can be, "Mama?"

My heart stopped. And I cried - she didn't. All of the praying for her transition must have been heard and answered by God. She was fine...I wasn't.

The rest of the day was really a blur. We signed papers, went back to the hotel. We changed her clothes - no time for a bath - we had more paperwork to complete.

I picked her up, and there she fell asleep in my arms. She slept for almost two hours - even when we got in the van to go do more paperwork.

Fuzhou, Fujian, China - aerial view

Day two - Beijing

2007-12-31T10:04:00.000-08:00

Ok, so for me, this is fun to think back to what it was like in another country. For you, maybe not so much - oh well, bare with me!

Just as a side note, we are snowed in in Colorado - which is a huge difference from what it was like in China - very hot and humid!

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Day two - Beijing

My mom and I woke up at 4:00 am. So much for waiting for the wake up call. Still on United States time - but still very tired. I also think we were nervous for what the day had in store.

We packed and watched downtown Beijing come to life. It was incredible to see the bikes, cars, busses and people start coming out. It became very busy in just a short amount of time.

After a while, we decided to go downstairs and get some breakfast. It wasn't bad, was pretty American - did I mention I don't really like Chinese food?

Anyway, we met another family there and had breakfast with them.

And then we waited and waited.

Finally we left the hotel and ventured out into China. I was nervous, scared, excited and missed my kids at home.

Our first stop was the Forbidden City. It was beautiful but very busy. My mom has a really bad back so she had a really hard time walking through it.

This is a picture of a lot of young Chinese children walking through the Forbidden City. They were all dressed in military clothing and were being led by young men dressed the same.

After the Forbidden City we got to see the Great Wall. It truely was beautiful. I can see why the Chinese people and the country are so proud of this. It is amazing how big it is and that it was built without any of today's machines.

The picture below shows how commercial even the Great Wall has become. There was a place you could dress up in traditional Chinese clothing from long ago and have your picture taken with it in the background. Here are some young Chinese children having their pictures taken in these clothes.

After the Great Wall, we went to the airport. There were three families and we were all going to a different province. My mom and I were supposed to be the last to leave. Our guide waited with us until we had to go to the gate. At that point we were all on our own.

For those of you who have only traveled in the United States, going into the Beijing airport is an incredible experience that cannot be described with words alone. We desended into the basement of the airport, literally into a sea of people. There were no seats for my mom, but finally a young man was nice enough to get up so she could sit.

Finally one flight left and we were both able to sit together.

We waited and waited for our flight to be called. Not on a loud speaker like those in the US - they were calling them on a blow horn - in Chinese - like I thought I could understand what they were saying...

Anyway, a very nice person sitting next to us looked at our tickets and told us in broken English we were in the right place, just to sit and wait.

After about two hours, there was another call on the blow horn, and people were MAD! Not American mad where they talk to each other about bad service, etc. I mean screaming, yelling, shaking their fists mad.

I looked at my mom and the young girl next to me. (She was truely our angel sent from God. She was born in China, moved to New York and studying abroad in China.) She said the flight was going to be delayed about an hour. Ok - that was fine. We would be ok. It was about 10:00 pm, still time to get to the hotel and rest before we got Kaycee in the morning.

1 hour later - Another announcement - people were screaming again, and a group of about 7 men were marching up the stairs shaking their fists. They were going to get the plane going.

"The flight has been cancelled. We will be staying in a hotel tonight."

My heart dropped. What about getting Kaycee in the morning? What would happen? Would our guide in Fuzhou know that it was cancelled?

Our guardian angel called our guide in Fuzhou. What a life saver.

We traveled to the hotel - after more screaming and yelling from the passengers and the airlines - and tried to get some sleep. It was about 1:00am, we would have a 5:00 am wake up call.

We had had about 10 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours. Had it been that long? I wondered where our luggage was. I guess it really didn't matter, as I had all of my paperwork with me, but all of the gifts for everyone was in my luggage.

I prayed that night for Kaycee. She was just hours (I hoped) from being our daughter and having her life as she had known it ripped away.

And we slept - a little...

Revisiting our year...

2007-12-30T09:22:00.000-08:00

It was exactly six months ago today, that my mom and I left for the adventure of a lifetime. I thought it would be fun (ok, maybe only for me) to revisit this trip. I didn't get to post every day while I was in China, so I thought I would do it day by day, as if it was happening now.

Maybe a little wierd, but kind of fun!

As most of you know, I was scared to death of flying over the ocean. I talked with my doctor about sedatives for the flight, prayed, cried, and everything else. I knew I had to get on that plane in order to get Kaycee, but it ws the most terrifying thing I could ever do.

The night before we left, I did not sleep. Really it was for a couple of reasons.
1. We had to be at the airport at 3:00 am. We live about 2 hours from the airport, so you can imagine how tired everyone would be.
2. If I was really tired, maybe I could sleep on the plane and not worry so much about the flight.

We picked up my mom at around 2:00 am. We were packed and ready to go. There was one problem though...our luggage was too heavy for China travel. On international flights, it can 50 pounds per bag, but on China flights it can only be 44 pounds per person. Woops, I guess we would just have to pay for the extra.

We got to the airport at about 3:00 and waited, and waited, and waited...

The checkin counters didn't open until 4:00 - but our flight left at 5:00 and we were told to be there two hours early. Oh well. We waited - did I mention I hadn't slept all night?

Finally we were on our way to San Francisco. (Let me back up a little.)

Originally we had thought we would be flying out of Chicago, as another family in our group was. This had me a little more relaxed about the flight as we would not be starting our flight over the ocean. My thoughts were that the plane usually has the most problems at the beginning of the flight, and we would still be over land for the first hour or so. Then I found out we were flying out from San Fransico...we would be over the water in less than five minutes. UUGGHH!

Anyway, we waited in San Francisco, very tired and I prayed. Prayed hard for our flight and our pilots but most of all, for Kaycee. In just a couple of days, her life would change dramatically.

We boarded the plane for Beijing. It was really happening. I couldn't believe it.

As we took off, we headed north - not west. Hmm, we would actually be over land for the first of our flight.

As we kept flying, I watched the map on the screen in front of me. We were still over land and we were about 2 hours into our flight (13 hour flight.) What were we doing? Five hours and we were still over land. 7 hours, still over land. The only time we weren't over land was when we flew over the Arctic Circle. We were going up and over instead of just over. THANK GOD! If we had to crash, at least we would crash on land. (I know, the logic does not make sense, but you know me...)

At last, we landed in Beijing. What an incredible experience this was. This is a person who lives in a town of about 300. Our nearest neighbor is about 1/2 mile away and we think this is too close. When we give directions to our house, we say go down this dirt road, turn on to this dirt road and if you go across the cattle guards you have gone too far. You get the picture?

Beijing airport was packed. Not DIA at Christmas packed, I mean packed. People everywhere! EVERYWHERE!!!!! We walked out to the general area (remember I have my mom with me) and we start looking for the flag from our agency. Are you kidding me? There had to be at least 500 people in an area about 100 feet by 10 feet. There was no way we could possibly find our guide.

We kept walking and I know I must have looked like I was in shock. Finally after walking for about 500 feet, we found our guide. She was holding her little green flag up. Never have I felt so happy to see a piece of little green fabric being held up. It was our lighthouse in the sea of Chinese people.

Thank GOD!

After meeting up with two other couples we went to dinner (did I mention I really don't like Chinese food?) and then to our hotel. We had already been up for about 36 hours and I was tired!

Tomorrow we would tour the Forbidden City, and see the Great Wall of China. Then tomorrow night, we would be flying to where Kaycee was. It was picture perfect. We were safe and sound in Beijing, China. We had called home and everyone was fine.

It was time to get some sleep. We would meet at 8:00 am for our tour of Beijing. Wake up call at 7:00 am.

Millions and millions of calories!

2007-12-15T07:00:00.000-08:00

Today is the day. It is the day that millions, (I am sure I am not making this up) and millions of calories are constructed in my house.

It started my first year as a teacher. I was the FBLA sponsor and we were trying to find a fundraiser around Christmas time.

One of the students said, how about making fudge?

I was completely for it...why not? How hard could that be? Maybe about 20 pounds and all would be good.

They started selling the fudge - all 25 of them. Some selling 10 pounds, some 20, some not so much. Orders were due Wednesday, so I could go get the ingredients and make it over the weekend.

The orders came in - all 390 pounds of it. Yes almost 400 pounds of fudge.

I almost cried, really I did.

I left a little early from school that day and went to the store. I got some chocolate chips, some sugar, and little bit of the other ingredients.

And started making the fudge.

I really had no idea how much almost 400 pounds of fudge would be.

I worked about 12 hours on Saturday and almost another 6 hours on Sunday. My mom helped or else it would have been even longer.

It was amazing.

I made fudge for the next three years, with the kid selling about the same amount each year. I had it down to a science.

Then I told the kids...I can't do this again. I am very tired of it.

Then...my son started fundraising with his class of 10 for their senior trip.

The idea of fudge came back.

Last year it was about 150 pounds, this year it is around 175 pounds. Not so much really, when you compare it to the first year.

No problem...a mom would do anything for their children - right?

It happened...

2007-12-08T20:01:00.001-08:00

I have heard rumors about this type of thing happening...

I have talked with people who have dealt with this before...

But it is totally different once it happens to you...

And it is in reference to your own child!

I was talking about adoption with a person I know.

"Somebody is getting rich off of the international adoptions."

That was all I could hear from this conversation. It struck deep, really.

Was it that bad? Was it horrible? No, not really. But it was still hurtful.

All Gussied Up...

2007-12-07T18:46:00.000-08:00

One day, the girls and I thought it would be a good idea to curl their hair before church. My mom found some really neat curlers that you just stick in the microwave for 10 seconds. They worked really, really well! And the girls looked a cute as a button!

Black Friday!!!

2007-11-25T13:51:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love to shop on the Friday after Christmas. It is my FAVORITE day to shop.

This year, I don't know if any of you noticed, but Kohl's had their stores open at 4:00 am! Yes, 4:00!

Who would be so crazy as to get up at 3:00, brave the 18 degree weather, just to go to a good sale?

You are reading her blog...

My mom, dad, sister and I all got up, freezing and still half asleep from the day before, and waited in line.

The line was down the street and around the corner. We were in the middle, which meant only one thing...

We had a really good chance of getting exactly what we wanted.

You betcha we did.

"So what exactly are we getting here?" my dad says to me as we are both huddled together, shaking from the freezing wind that was blowing.

"Um, I would like to get a car rug for John's room, but if I don't get it, that is ok too." I said between chattering teeth.

"What are you wanting, dad?"

"Nnnothing."

So we braved the weather, the crowds, the long lines, and the lack of sleep, just so we could all go in and pick up the car rug that I wanted for John's room. How much did I save?

$5.00

Yes, $5.00. Think about it this way, somewhere in the world, someone worked an entire day or week for the $5.00.

Makes me feel a little better!

Again, you are kidding me...

2007-11-20T06:58:00.000-08:00

I want to adoopt again.

There, I said it!!! Yes, that would be six kids.

Eight pairs of pants, socks, underwear (when everyone is potty trained.)

Eight shirts, eight plates, eight glasses.

Probably about 24 -36 pancakes at breakfast.
15-18 eggs, one pound of bacon or sausage.

8-10 gallons of milk a week, and how much toilet paper?

But, I really believe we have another child out there, most likely in China.

I want Kaycee to grow up with another Chinese princess running around the house.
Someone that came from where she came from, that has the same heritage, culture, etc and most likely the same special need.

My husband is looking at the ticket prices before he gets on board with the whole idea. He has stated that he is thinking about it.

Right now, that is all I can hope for...

Finding Day

2007-11-06T07:15:00.000-08:00

It was two years ago today, our daughter Kaycee was found on the street in front of the Fuzhou City Orphanage.

It is hard as a mom, to think of their child, at one month old laying on the sidewalk, alone.

I am not dealing with this so well today. I look at her and wonder if her mom thinks of her on this day.

We celebrate her birthday on October 6, however, this is only an estimate. November 6 is the first truth we have about Kaycee. We know she was found on 11-6, before that...it is only a guess.

It is hard to think about that. Maybe as the years go by, and we have more truths and knowns, it will be easier for me to deal with.

The not so scary side of Halloween

2007-11-01T10:23:00.001-07:00

Our school has a great Harvest Festival for the little ones. Nothing that scares the kids, just fun games. It lets the dress up in their costumes, play some games, win some prizes, all in a warm and safe atmosphere.

We spent about an hour there last night with the three little ones, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, and Thomas the Tank Engine.

I ended up giving three left over tickets to one little boy and about five dollars to another little boy. It made their night, and I won't be vaccuuming up a little toy in the next couple of days...made my day too.

Kaycee's Two years old!!

2007-10-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

Kaycee's birthday was actually October 6th, but we just had her party. Between football games, baseball games, (Rockies in the World Series) and FFA events, this was the first time our family could get together.

Unforturnately, I really am not the birthday party person. I never have been.

Its not because I don't like birthday parties or anything like that, I just don't do them...

Anyway, we went to McDonald's for breakfast and the kids got to play on the gym stuff. They love it and nobody realizes that there isn't a cake, ice cream or anything like that.

We had both sets of grandparents, Uncle Scott and all four kids, and Aunt Brenda. It was a good time. Even though she didn't know it was a special day, she had a lot of fun.

This is Kaycee with her tutu on, going up the slide. I thought it was a cute shot! :)

Then that night, our family celebrated with a cake. I missed the one year old eating her cake. She is such a clean eater - so we had to put a little chocolate on her nose just for us!

Deep inside though, I wondered as we were celebrating, if there was a woman, thousands of miles away that was thinking of our daughter also. Did she wonder what had happened to her? Did she send her birthday wishes to where ever she was? I will always wonder that. I will always pray for her. And I will always thank her for her gift to our family.

Where do you begin?

2007-10-29T07:55:00.000-07:00

Where do you begin? The beginning was so long ago, maybe we should just start on July 12, 2007. That was the day Kaycee came home and we became a family of seven.

Seven, yes seven. Five kids. Five wonderful human beings that brighten up even the worst day.

Five pairs of eyes, mostly blue and green, but one a dark, dark brown, that look at you every day and say, "I love you mommy." Maybe sometimes it is stated, "I wuv ewe momma," and sometimes it is just a running kiss after a day at work, no words yet but it all means the same.

Yes, it is a lot of laundry, cleaning, dishes, grocery shopping, but in the end, I really do love it. Who wouldn't?

We have a 14 year old - soon to be 15 - he is a freshman in high school and growing taller and taller every day. His stomach is never full, and he seems like he is never home. Between football, youth group, 4H and Washington Focus, I feel like I am missing a child most days.

Our 12 year old is in 7th grade. He is the quarterback for the junior high school football team and did really well. (This isn't just mom's opinion either.) He has a huge part in the up coming play and is getting straight A's, what more could you ask for?

Our oldest daughter is 4 but I really think deep down she is 16. She is a very girly girl, but at the same time, much to her dad's delight, she can burb like the big boys! She is in preschool and we are trying to figure out how we can start her in kindergarten a year early. She already does the alphabet backwards...mom can't even do that!

Our youngest son is 2 but will be 3 in December. He was born on Pearl Harbor day...it really is fitting as his dad has a degree in history. He is our terror. He is the child that lets everyone know what his feelings are at all times. But at the same time, he is very loving and a sweet little guy!

And of course, who could forget baby Kaycee. She is our princess from China. She just turned 2 (pictures of her birthday tomorrow.) Anyway, she was a special needs adoption, she has bilateral microtia with a mild to moderate hearing loss. She currently has a bone conduction hearing aid and is doing wonderfully! She is truely our gift from heaven!

Well, that about wraps up the family. Are there any more coming? I sure hope so! I would really like to adopt one more child. If God would speak to my husband, like he does to me, I am sure there will be six pairs of eyes looking to us!